the true meaning of expression

i believe, that the form of communication has evolved from noises to voices and is slowly evolving into writing, i have reason to believe after 30 years, humans will not use thier vocal cords instead use that controlled will power to expand thier minds fu

the reason behind my unexplainable need for expression is this newly discovered EGO in me, which was only in the hiding under the pretext of being self belief, self worth, self explanation, self centered, self conscious, selfish, and self giving, arthaat ( meaning ) the ego was immaturely placed in the self, and all the desires and the aspirations and the ambitions and the pain and the gain was with a minimalistic and more of mis-judging perspective of my insignificant self, for the ego is not ours, it is only to be a reflection of the great divine, the whole truth, whatever it may be for different people, because the truth or the secret or the reason or the purpose or the goal or even the direction is not a mere knowledge as these defining terms would suggest, feeling the truth is as good as knowing the truth, but not vice-versa as generally assumed.
you get self conscious in expressing when you feel over whelmed by its power and feel obliged to channelize it and hence become nervous, but when you decide to express not to effect but to elaborate and discuss change, the expression comes more smoothly and with an intensity so high, it numbs your mental vibrations, pre-conscientious notions, unexplainable rules and laws, the effect is so great that it surprises you, ever ask an artist about his creation, ask him if had planned it, need not wait for an answer, for there is an artist in all of us, it was wrong of man to define creativity in a limited form of arts and culture, music and dance for art is actually a living, thus art of living, the most current sensation that the current generation is resonating to, and so to many other similar off shoots of the similar field of knowledge, as a species we have done great in harnessing atmospheric, natural intensity and converting it to beliefs for more effective transfer of life energy, first phase was creating the concept of set of believes and principles, then came a phase of singling out the most effective belief cycle and testing it against other probabilities of life form to check for survival, then came a phase of advance psychology where, beliefs could easily be rested upon a non-living and thus a constant object, to reduce creating further derivatives in the world, and now i suppose the time has come, the intensity and necessity of belief has reached yet another peak and is now possible to transfer into the self, it is not a thought, or a suggestion or a speculation, it is a mere narration of my experiences, of which i have realized after giving my 100% for so many years, daring and trying everything that came up against me, pardon if it sounds boastful, but i discovered some courage in liquid form in my presence long before any other realizations, and as a act of free will, always let it guide me, and so my journey i feel has hastened and reached a maturity that i am left only surprised by, to happen at a time when things look in place and an assumption of some control gained, my courage made sure i treat this illness of mine, of running away from myself, from running away from my advices and facing the intensity of truth. now i am conducting an intensity, only alien to my understanding, it is only normal to feel paranoia when something new is discovered, for it is the basic instinct of survival, but that newness has to be faced with courage and only courage, whenever you try to find explanations and reasons for the happening other than your own doing, you will only prolong the journey, and will only prolong this blissful state that i can only try , try and try to stimulate through in, and as many ways and most importantly action as possible, because the truth is an excitement that you develop, its an enthusiasm towards life and all its challenges, the only way of truly living, but it is in a loop, you need to worship and demand more hardships and lessons to completely feel free and in control, its a mix bag of paradoxes, which you realize only when you start trying to reason with it, why so, and, it ends with you attaining a feeling of knowledge and a perspective, if that's how its supposed to be, so be it.

eliminate the craving of expression for credit and judgment because they resemble existence of a negativity in you which still desires an effect, correct yourself by expressing continuously, till the point you don't realize you are expressing, till the point you know of a possibility that someone else will be effected by this expression, because in a moment like that, all the efforts of self sacrifice turns into a huge negative bowl of advices, focus on genuineness, forget about grammar and spellings, for language cannot be believed upon, it changes its popularity and definition with every new phase of evolution.
the expression should come from a part of you which is at unrest, let it explain its misery or celebration in the way it truly wants it, most of the time it is the ego trying to express its misery through constant advices and cribbings, the minute you think or realize your expression is sounding or is being perceived as an ill form of advices or cribbings or even worst is in need for recognition, stop yourself, gather yourself and start again with the first step always being the direction of genuineness and you will only astonish yourself at the speed you can travel, life become a burr... nothing more than a series of episodes that you have to live and emote through, their significance looses, no 2 episode remain inter connected, life seems easy and manageable, people, most importantly seem more manageable, because of your act of forgetfulness to any irrelevant action the corresponding person also develops this habit and there is always a renewed joy in meeting, coz only through transfer of enthusiasm can you ever achieve to live life, you create, influence, generate,narrate, suggest, point out or even simply act out enthusiasm and it will instantly purify and restart your life, so the effect of negative discharge is always manageable and non-permanent.

but the most difficult part is focus, for i lost focus thrice in this paragraph itself. express for self and not for others is a statement expressed by all the great ones to inherit earth, be yourself, truly means express only for yourself, because it makes sense only to you, i write keeping myself in the audience perspective, and help motivate myself through my own writing, because everything i say makes complete sense to me and without fail delivers the desired effect, it is taught rules are important, they most certainly are, but you have to hold every rule in the light of day and test its relevance, express your feelings after every experiment with a rule, only then can you teach yourself the importance of those rules, and only foolish person would doubt himself of breaking a rule that he genuinely feels is important, we are often able to remember when we set it as boundaries for our loved ones, so it must be because we dont love ourselves enough, to listen to ourselves. that is the ill bred disease i was carrying for a long time, i was always proud to be ahead of peers in aspects that truly matter at every corresponding age, always ready to compare stats and figures because in my individual case i always knew i carried the higher number irrespective of the game, if i like it, i was always good at it, but that was only wrong no matter how wonderful it sounds, i was teaching myself to find pleasure in pettiness of a moment, and rather not aspire to have higher numbers in compare to time, but i have learnt to do that, not to aggravate or motivate myself but rather to shut myself up, as soon as i get into the ill habit of explaining, advising, cribbing, needing, requesting, demanding, commanding, bothering cause it always led me to a place below my ego, a place where i was needed to feel and transmit frustrations, disappointments, nervousness, phobia, fear, guilt, paranoia, hesitation, regret these are feelings i on an individual level do not give permission to enter in my body, i have already eliminated most of anger and so all i need to do is refuse these feelings, and it is done. in your most focus on modesty and gratitude life becomes mono progressive in wavelength, self driven and self correcting, it takes your decisions seriously, all refusals and acceptance become the law, you genuinely wish for a situation, and it occurs, how else can you explain de' ja vous, and intuition ?? no need for explanation, this is it, and this is how it happens, your ego will always guide from point a to point b, through your dreams, the more you dream recurringly, the more minute and important details start becoming obvious, every decision and correction in life automatically fits in place, if you give dream a time line, not a target, but a flexible time line of will, say that, i will not rest or die till this is done, thats it, you are free, ready to resume life with an attitude shift, nothing surprises you anymore, it amuses you, because of this new knowledge because of this effort of self discovery, now you know where life is headed, where are you going, and after that everything that happens amuses you," hehe it had to happen this way.. hahaha.. wow !! "
life seems amazing, you start noticing and celebrating the smallest of truths, because you alone know the secret behind its existence, you alone now know why was the tree created, to provide me oxygen today so that i can achieve the most important task of all, the most awaited task of all tomorrow, you get into that sarah'o conner situation, where your existence is the survival of the kid, let kid do whatever he wants, god help him in all his great ordeals but the important task for you is just keep the freaking kid alive....rather than protect another human as well from the TERMINATOR ....hope i get paid for this. :p

Reviews

[Spotted Hyena]

Interesting thoughts!

My only complaint is the grammar. There are lots of run-on sentences and huge paragraphs that make it hard to read. Also, the sentences sort of run together because the beginning letters aren't capitalized. In all, very thought provoking, just work on presentation!