As I swirl and as I twirl...

I wrote it 'coz I was feeling very happy and it was raining!

Droplets that fall from heaven above...

Fill me with rejuvenating life,

Darkness, that lives in me is washed away.

And I swirl and I twirl, carefree,

Along with the wind, I sway.

I take in air saturated with the aroma of damp earth,

I no longer feel the pain...

I dance to the nature's unheard melodies,

As I step out in the luminous light again....

The wind plays with my tangled wet hair,

And I'm soaked to the skin with old blissful memories,

I feel the cool air against my smiling face.

As I twist and as I whirl...

Pleasure in its purest forms, dancing in the rain;

I dance to the nature's unheard melodies...

I'm revived and invigorated again...

 

Author's Note

I wrote it when I was feeling good after a long time. and it was raining (PS, I <3 rains)! It sounds like a sequel to 'breathe life into me'... Well, please review if you read it , even if you don't like it( but I really hope that you do!!)

Reviews

[.Bunnie.]

I loved it, actually! So cute....totally adorable. I, too, am a HUGE fan of storms! Nothing better than a warm summer's rain that you can run out in and get soaked to the bone. I think it's one of the most ultimate feelings of freedom!

Just two little things I'd make a suggestion on....

"Droplets that fall from heaven above...
Fill me with rejuvenating life,
Darkness, that lives in me is washed away.
And I swirl and I twirl, carefree,"

I would make "fill me with rejuvenating life" the end of the first two lines, so change that to a period.
"Droplets that fall from heaven above...
Fill me with rejuvenating life."
FOR the next two lines to fit together, like this:
"Darkness that lives in me is washed away,
As I swirl and twirl, carefree."

[Alicia™]

Oohh, I like this one. It just feels like a little girl dancing under the rain or something haha.

Btw, I think you should use stanzas in all of your poems... Just my opinion. =)

[Marlena]

I really liked this, it's got this sense of being made pure, you know? Great work, thanks for entering!

[RAWR!]

'Darkness that lives in me, they wash away.'

im not sure that 'they' is the appropriate word to use.



very nice
this reminds me of the monsoon rain when it pours down over chandigarh.