Writing for Sanity

A short entry. For more like it, please visit my blog annieqiyang.wordpress.com and follow me on instagram at @annieqyang !!! Thanks for all of your feedback! It's always much appreciated :)

It’s so easy to take everything for granted until you can’t anymore. As if every aspect of your life that was so right before congregated to turn against you at the same time, these things which you took for granted seem to speed out of your life one after another. It’s like they’ve formed a conga line, dancing away from you and towards someone else �" laughing, mocking. Others are living, experiencing life, moving forward. And you stare at them through a one-way glass, wishing you were among those who could smile because they still knew how to hope. In satirical contrast to how easy it was to take those things for granted, it is enormously difficult to now accept their absence.

This past year has been about learning to accommodate this absence. Being one to dream about incomprehensible success from an early age, my realization of the copious amount of certain things being forever out of my grasp, due to the life decisions I had made and the effort (or lack thereof) I had expended, was crippling. My heart broke, and every time I realized this truth again, it broke a little bit more. I didn’t know what to do anymore �" I was merely existing, suspended by threads. There was the clichéd “hole in my heart”, so to fill it, I cried. I overslept. I overate. And I repeated this process, day after day, month after month. It was so obviously bad for my mental and physical health, and yet so deliciously appealing. This lifestyle had become my routine, and I could not pull myself out.

I had become a corpse, but this lack of activity gave me time to reflect (I really should have been studying instead). I built up a vault of ideas, opinions, and personal truths, some enlightening, most dark. It was during this time that I turned to writing as a form of personal therapy. I wrote to mend my broken heart, to lift the heavy weight of reality off of me so that I could breathe �" I wrote for the benefit of my mental sanity. Uncoincidentally, as I poured my story onto paper, I slowly began to feel more at ease and less ominous. When I preserved a thought by writing it down, I could stop obsessively contemplating it, and these onerous ideas of mine were, at last, leaving my mind and making way for new, lighter ones. I finally, finally, began to pull out of the routine which had become so familiar to me. In every sense, writing has saved me from becoming the dismal shadow of a human that can sometimes, in all of its contemplating obscurity, overtake us.

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[JohnJohnJohn]

You should setup a goal and work hard to pursue it. not to switch your goals several times a year.

[Annie Yang]

A short entry. For more like it, please visit my blog annieqiyang.wordpress.com and follow me on instagram at @annieqyang !!! Thanks for all of your feedback! It's always much appreciated :)