Only you~

The complicated yet amazing feeling of a crush.

Each touch, each word, each smile, each glimpse that of you;
was it as real to you as it was to me?
Dwelling on pasts, bring unhappiness, that's true;
but unknowingly, only you have the key.

You claim to be the one, and so you are;
but your heart's desires differs from mine.
Even if you're away from me, so far;
a link between us, barely there, so fine.

I'm wishing that we never met;
yet, for every moment again.
My fear and pain, secret well-kept;
but heaven took pity, hence the rain.

When's the next time I'll see your face?
I rush time, hastening my pace.

Author's Note

Please provide some comments!! (Tell me what you liked and/or didn't like, what could be improved, etc)

Thank you so much!! (:

Reviews

[Inyourshadow]

Take ' that ' out of first line to improve flow, because other than this I found the poem to be a romantic heart out-pouring, the ache the want the need, my favourite lines have to be ~

My fear and pain, secret well-kept;
but heaven took pity, hence the rain.

to hide the tears possibly as you stand alone crying or just to wash away the memories. Loved the poem, keep em' coming

[Dreaming_and_hoping]

Hm.. How about: every touch, word, kiss, smile and glimpse of you ??

[Truth_About_Rain]

How about:
Each and every touch, word, kiss, smile and glimpse of you;
It's kinda rearranging the words and such...

[Dreaming_and_hoping]

Thanks, but the thing is, the first stanza consist of 11 syllables for each line, second stanza - 10 syllables, third stanza - 9 syllables, and the fourth stanza - 8 syllables. Perhaps, any suggestions on changing the words for the first line?

[Truth_About_Rain]

Nicely written, effective rhyme! :D Wording seems rather awkward at times, but it can be overlooked ;)

[Sakib]

It's exquisitely written. You have expressed your emotion nicely. Good job.