Are There Cradles in Heaven?

Feel free to ask any questions that may arise from this poem, just please do so sensitively.

The unborn soul haunts me,
They are digging their claws in,
Pulling my feelings into contortion.
Why aren't they in Heaven?
Has she brought them here?
I wanted to be a good mother,
I wanted to hold her when she cried,
It was my fault I couldn't,
Not hers.
I was careless and stupid and young.

Are there cradles in Heaven?
Does a better person rock her to sleep at night?
Do they tell her she is loved and cared for?
Does she know I love her and I'm sorry?
Do they tell her I'm her mother?
Or am I the devil who left her there forever?

It's hard to be a woman
When you should have been a mother.
I'm in no high regard with God,
I'm written on none of the entry lists,
I accept this duly.

Has she grown at all?
She'd be six now, right?
Or is she cursed to her prenatal form?
Does her daddy visit her?
Does he look into her eyes with love?
Or does he avoid her gaze from hating me?

Reviews

[Seriana]

The loss is always haunting, however the reason. I feel the pain. It's raw, yet you are not unjustified in your words. Decisions have consequences. However, we all are human. And with that comes emotions. You are not unjustified in those either. Despite the content, I enjoyed this piece. Nicely shared. Thank you.

[Armistead Lindsey]

I would love to be able to forward you to a much happier piece but majority of my poetry contains the darker emotions. I think the most positive would either be 'Angels' or 'If I should die today' (which is not as morbid as it sounds)

I'm glad that you enjoyed this piece though :)

[Armistead Lindsey]

First Place in the I miss you contest June 1st 2016
http://www.writerscafe.org/contests/I-miss-you/52906/

First Place in the Sad, Sad, Sadness contest September 30th 2016
http://www.writerscafe.org/contests/-sad%2C-sad%2Csadness-/53345/

[alanwgraham]

This is so painful to read but brave to share. So intensely personal but it helps to realise that more than you may suspect are living with similar experiences. Experiences such as these cut scars in your soul that will never heal but somehow life must continue!
Hope you are well!
Alan