Stfu

Stfu

A Poem by audacious

Short & Sweet
To the ink pen point,

Get to it, shout it out loud,
For everyone in the back to share with the crowd.


From there it escalates, only seconds passing by
Before s**t hits the fan and 

Short & sweet is not enough to get out of your white lie. 

-A

© 2017 audacious


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Reviews

White lie softer than a black one- no lies are the best- short and sweet tells a lifetime of truths- if you can lie you can cheat and steal- sad but true that some live a lie- well written and I agree truth is the only way🌹

Posted 6 Years Ago


I love the way your poems flow, great use of words and rhythm. Will definitely be reading more of what you publish.

Posted 6 Years Ago


Wow, this is really good. You should think about getting these poems published.

Posted 6 Years Ago


audacious

6 Years Ago

thanks! and one could only hope to one day!
I like short poems that don't suck. I enjoyed this.

In the 5th line, instead of passing try pass

and add a 'the' to the opening of the last line.

those are just some things I would do.


Posted 6 Years Ago


audacious

6 Years Ago

Thanks, I really appreciate the feedback! :)
Short and sweet indeed. Very succinct and powerful at the same time, and really packs a good punch as it weaves a cryptic, thought-provoking message. If I may, "passing" should be shortened to "pass" for musicality purposes. Nothing is marred in the tweak, you instead make the line flow better, and the words/message have thus a more powerful effect. Well done!

Posted 6 Years Ago


Well this was short and sweet. I assume this about getting to the point or the heart of the matter as quickly as possible? Good write.very vague

Posted 6 Years Ago



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2638 Views
6 Reviews
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Shelved in 1 Library
Added on November 20, 2017
Last Updated on November 20, 2017

Author

audacious
audacious

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