Stfu

Stfu

A Poem by audacious

Short & Sweet
To the ink pen point,

Get to it, shout it out loud,
For everyone in the back to share with the crowd.


From there it escalates, only seconds passing by
Before s**t hits the fan and 

Short & sweet is not enough to get out of your white lie. 

-A

© 2017 audacious



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I love the way your poems flow, great use of words and rhythm. Will definitely be reading more of what you publish.

Posted 1 Month Ago


Wow, this is really good. You should think about getting these poems published.

Posted 3 Months Ago


audacious

3 Months Ago

thanks! and one could only hope to one day!
I like short poems that don't suck. I enjoyed this.

In the 5th line, instead of passing try pass

and add a 'the' to the opening of the last line.

those are just some things I would do.


Posted 3 Months Ago


audacious

3 Months Ago

Thanks, I really appreciate the feedback! :)
Short and sweet indeed. Very succinct and powerful at the same time, and really packs a good punch as it weaves a cryptic, thought-provoking message. If I may, "passing" should be shortened to "pass" for musicality purposes. Nothing is marred in the tweak, you instead make the line flow better, and the words/message have thus a more powerful effect. Well done!

Posted 3 Months Ago


Well this was short and sweet. I assume this about getting to the point or the heart of the matter as quickly as possible? Good write.very vague

Posted 3 Months Ago



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Added on November 20, 2017
Last Updated on November 20, 2017

Author

audacious
audacious

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