I Go Back to You

A mother's recollection of her daughter as a newborn infant, setting aside today's struggles, and sinking back into the newness of motherhood.

When the world is harsh and heavy, and I’m just hanging my head,

‘cuz my head’s feeling weary, and I’ve too much to dread.

When I seek some distraction, to catch my breath from life’s demands,

I close my eyes and recall that soft place, enthralled though unplanned.

 

I go back…

to a time that’s long past, to a much younger you,

when you were my baby, cool as the breeze, your eyes baby blue.

You were my miracle, thus conceived, my downy cotton bliss,

glowing like sunshine, smelling of rain, you wore an angel’s kiss.

 

When boulders are raining down on me from a Godless dark storm,

and I cannot find shelter, as these rocks refuse to conform.

When joy is falling off my face, creating tear-filled rivers,

and I am out of sync with most everything as I then begin to shiver.

 

I go back…

to that mystical place in my mind, enchanted,

and imagine the feel of that soft blond hair, you were granted.

And the color of your skin, flawless lovely, peaches and cream,

I recall you, baby sweetheart, and how very real it all seems.

 

When fear fills my dreams, lingering from my youth, uninvited,

and I wonder and wander in deep brown grass, now ignited.

When loud discord is filling my ears, like the screams of the crows,

and I can’t find strength, though it’s there, if I could see past my woes…

 

I go back…

to that day, when I held you in my arms, anew,

and how you felt as you snuggled, fresh as morning’s first dew.

My mind, in amazement, crystalized these moments in time,

regardless of our ages, I’d never forget, you baby mine.

 

Yes, I return to you, as I wind the clock back to early times,

and it’s the remembering that makes this life easier, even fine.

For of all of the events of my life, the good and the great,

 

it’s you, ever baby, who was most worth that unasked for wait.

Author's Note

Awards:

- Light Writing Contest 5th Place

Reviews

[Sapphire_Jewel]

This is beautiful! I'm not a mother, but I can tell from your writing that it can be a real joy! Even a way to deal with the things of life. I guess I've never looked at motherhood like that. Your message was relayed in a crystal clear manner. I enjoyed reading this.

[Shimmerbliss/CAF]

The beauty of a mother's heart. I understand. This brings back the scent, and sweet of my own.