She the darker side of me

She has my face, my smile, my hair.

She seems obscene, like she doesn’t even care.

She’s bitter, a quitter, she burns like acid,

She tells lies, she hides behind a disguise,

She hates, she breaks, she makes mistakes,

She’s gone much further than what she can take.

She lies, she tries, she hides, and she cries.

She’s not the same as the girl she was,

She plays games, she buries her flaws

With secrets, with the things she’ll never say,

With regrets, with the pain she keeps away.

You never see her,

You don’t wanna be her,

Never wanna see,

Never wanna be,

Never wanna need

The darker side of me.

Reviews

[Melon Choly]

Oh my, I love this! I believe within us all there lurks a darker side. What brings it out to display? For me, a broken heart causes my inner dark side to emerge....raging emotions of anger, bitterness, even hatred....until I can lease the monster and put her back in place....until the next time. OK, I diversed a little there, but your poem inspired me! Thank you!

[just is]

This is wonderful
everyone has a dark side
Everyone wants to be accepted the way they are
I know I do as well.
So this is wonderful and I enjoyed
Your words just flow and is amazing.

[Wildecat]

This is a fabulous write, a definite pleasure to read.

[PianoandPage]

"She's bitter, a quitter, she burns like acid" - this is great. what i love about this line is that usually the word "quitter" doesns't seem like an agressive term yet you put it in a very evocative line with the words "bitter" and "acid" it really woke me up.

this poem is very nice. i love the end.

i think you could tighten certain parts up. maybe restructure a few lines that have a word or two that makes them a little long and out of synch with the other lines....

also there were a couple times you repeat a concept that imo isn't necessary.

just my thoughts.

otherwise i think this is a very good poem. i love the idea of hating the "darker side" of ourselves.

[ATG]

That was another great poem by you. I'm starting to see a pattern in your writing involving this subject. That is not necessarily a bad thing. Psychos are interesting. Horrible and insane people, but interesting none the less.

It was dark and interesting like your other poem. Very well written. Your great rhyming ability is shown perfectly here as well.

Great job. Keep up the great work.

[JRB]

Not wanting to be part of the dark side makes it so, nice work
Jan/Uisiom