THE PIMPLE AND I

It started out inconspicuously and inauspiciously as a small pimple on the lower left of his back, something that no one would ever give a second glance at.

It didn't even itch and so demanded no instinctive scratching.

But it grew and grew, developing into a small cyst at first and then into a larger and larger one, acquiring along the way the powers of perception, cognition, speech and reason.

It became more and more dominant in the running of his life until there came a point when he realized that he now became the carbuncle. He now was the awkward, ugly lump of shapeless, useless flesh that needed to be amputated at the soonest possible opportunity and discarded with other medical waste or better still, pickled and preserved for eternity as a freak anatomical occurrence  – a talking, reasoning pustule which apparently possessed all the features of a well-developed human being.

He saw clearly that all this time he deluded himself into believing that he was a real person who deserved love, companionship and all the rights that every member of society possesses whereas in fact he was just a cyst that somehow grew and assumed the proportions and attributes of a person.

Reviews

[No one]

I enjoy Kafka and I enjoy Phillip Roth, both of whom wrote stories strikingly similar to this- Metamorphosis, The Breast- in which the protagonist transforms into something other than himself. This followed more of a Kafka theme without real explanation as to how and why the character becomes this thing.

All in all I liked the story. The ending, however, didn't work for me. Here's why: He saw clearly that all this time he (had) deluded himself into believing that he was a real person who deserved love, companionship(,)and all the rights that every member of society possesses(,) whereas in fact he was just a cyst that (had) somehow grew (grown) and assumed the proportions and attributes of a person.

In the beginning you refer to 'his back'. If he has a pimple on his back then he has a human form and blemishes like you or me or Jane Fonda. Then you refer to the pimple as 'running his life'. So he has a life which changes due to the arrival of this pimple. But in the end, and this is where the story dissolved for me, you reveal that he was just a cyst who had somehow grown into a human. Does this mean that the beginning of the story features a transcystual with a human back growing a pimple which turns into a cyst which takes over his life and which he finally becomes?
This made me a little crazy. My mind is inadequately armed to handle such quandaries.

I would advise that you use a dictionary when you write. I don't mean that in a condescending way. Even if you already know a word's meaning, you can always learn something new about that word and its usage. Here's why I say this:

It started out inconspicuously (noticeably) and inauspiciously (unfavorably) as a small pimple, something which no one would ever give a second glance at. (Why would no one EVER glance twice at something like a pimple in the middle of someone's back? I know I have. Pimples are disgusting but fascinating at the same time. I can't help but look and gag.

*developing into a small cyst at first and then into a larger and larger one... Cyst: An abnormal membranous sac containing a gaseous, liquid, or semisolid substance.

*he now became the carbuncle... Carbuncle: A painful localized bacterial infection of the skin and subcutaneous tissue that usually has several openings through which pus is discharged.

*...a talking, reasoning pustule...pustule: a small elevation of the skin containing pus.

*So is it a cyst or a carbuncle or a (later a) pustule? All those three pustule seems the least detrimental to one's health. Why then in the progression of bad to worse is pustule placed at the end (which suggests this bacterial infection has improved so much that it's only now a small elevation of the skin containing pus).

Kafka would appreciate this story (as I have) but I think he point out some of the same things I have. Who am I kidding? I'm really Franz Kafka in disguise!
I'll read more of your work. You've got interesting ideas.

[Siddartha Beth Pierce]

Interesting concept to turn the original, living being into the removable, needless entity in the end. Certainly illustrates how people often feel and think about themselves as secondary to the whole. Another thought provoking work as always. Thanks.
Light,
Siddartha

[Toni Prehoda Kahler]

I don't know why I suddenly caught the image of pregnancy, but the undercurrent of considered abortion is strong. I think I see it most definately in the fourth paragraph, where every image you evoke (except perhaps the word "amputated") makes me see this. If you didn't intend that image, then I find it all the more fascinating that it leads me toward the unborn child.

I re-read it with the unborn child image in front of me, and except for the fact that it grew on a man's back, I am astounded at how this work speaks toward conception, considered abortion, and at the last, the voice of the child himself.

Again, I am fascinated by the images this piece gave me. I haven't read Kafka yet, but in this case
I free-flowed with the images your words evoked for me.

[ElJays Nicholas]

It is rather unfortunate that this is how people see themselves. The one thing which is missing from the poor cyst is pure, genuine emotion. Maybe if the pustule had a heart and offered love, that love would return to him as he so wished. Maybe if we were more genuine human beings, the pustule would somehow learn to love and would not have to be circumcised. We can reason and reason as much as we'd like, but if we have no love, then we have nothing at all. This is what the story speaks to me....

[Jacquelene Vanessa More..]

wow something so small can be so maddening. i can understand this frightengly so

[Annelise]

I will be completely honest, was really worried about reading this one. I know yo for oyur insightfulness and I thought this was going to be some... I don't know, just not so great. As soon as I started reading it I was glad I did. This was so creepy, and believable. It is, actualy quite briliant, one of th most interesting, psyhcologocal horror piece I've ever read.

[Wildfleour]

How incredibly sad.

[Ron B]

Boris, this is great. It is brief but the subtext entertained my imagination for some time. I felt almost sad for this pimple that grew into a mature being, trapped in a human body. Bravo.

[Dejasha Love]

Hmmm interesting. Very awkward but I still wanted to read the whole story. It feels like it needs more to it. ~:P
Love..., Dejasha :)

[Sara]

ew! I started reading this and thought it would be a comedy, but indeed not! It is a very interesting perspective, though, on an ordinary nuisance and I liked your use of figurative language, and deep meaning given to such an object.
So, another success for me.
-sara :-)