Shade

Have you ever thought to look at something so simple and decipher the world's problems in it?

Shade

The shadow that caught my eye is faint. The path I'm walking on wouldn't allow for anything more, The massive trees above enclosed the airspace and rejected any beam light.

The one that caught my eye is not predominant enough to stand out. I continued to follow the forbidding  shade; I realized that it would spiral out along the edges, every three seconds and new edge would break off and fall downwards; paralleling the movements of the wind.

Every three seconds, the shadow was followed by it's caster; which were saturated with reds and oranges; it would battle the wind the whole way down, pushing, pulling away and towards the current. It wouldn't find it's peace until the destination was met. Each leaf the same as the last but the battle down, different.

They fall together and hit the same mark onto the concrete path. After a while, a pile should form. This tree was small, though. The patch of dirt it sat on was pitiful. So, it might take a while and it would leave the tree bare. It was inevitable and only a matter time before it resembles an overgrown branch protruding upwards 7 feet.

The leaves it had drew away from its' sore features. They now bordered the base of the trunk almost as if placed there by hands.  The branches are short and look brittle. The slightest hint of a storm would knock it out of place, then the overgrown branch would find its' place in the woods; Among the massive trees that rob the branch of it’s rightful shadow.

For now it would remain the sore thumb on the side of this path.

Reviews

[Author Gus]

I like the way you built the tree, not addressing exactly what it was at first; letting readers piece it together for themselves. Good writers don't underestimate the reader, we don't need to be spoon-fed and you handled that very well.
There were a few parts that felt a little awkward, the wording just didn't quite fit in my mind. I think this would have worked better as a story rather than a poem; which, it more or less is anyway. Those awkward patches were places where you had to try and force this to sound more like a poem.

[Brenda Alicia]

Author Gus,
Thank you for your review! I appreciate it, so much!