War

I struggle with some mental disorders and I wont go into specifics, but writing my thoughts down into words makes me feel like I have a voice. It's nothing serious. Just my thoughts. Enjoy.

I am the ocean. My thoughts are tidal waves and they never stop coming at me, violently brushing up against rocks and disrupting the peace, and some nights the waves are so much larger then I can handle but I can't help it because that's just the way the ocean works, and after being sad for the third year in a row I've come to a conclusion that I am alone, and I am afraid to try again. I'm afraid to try because each time I take one step up I fall down seven and let me tell you, I am so tired. When life is a huge weight on your shoulders each day you have less strength than the one before, I can feel my knees weakening. Days are obstacles and late nights are just barriers and I'm not moving at all anymore. Progress is something I've not made much of in this progress, there's less beauty in life each day I wake up. But why? Life is beautiful. I am given a chance to make a change, to be someone, a chance to be free. Maybe I will be free, maybe I won't let depression quiet me, and maybe I'll fight it. I am going to cry, scream, hurt, and make mistakes but the one thing I can't do is give up. This is my life, and I want it back. Maybe the storm will pass. On the other hand maybe life just isn't for everyone. Maybe I'm not cut out for this. Maybe my illness is much stronger than I am. Or maybe I'm going to let go of all the hurt inside of me. It's so much more than difficult. But that's okay, I'll hold onto the small things that keep me going. Hope is so much stronger than fear. I'm taking this day by day, and regardless of the voices in my head saying "stay in bed, there's no point, you have nothing to live for." I'm going to get up and go for a walk. Why? Because I have power. Because I am here for a reason, and the sun has never looked so beautiful. 

Author's Note

Ignore the outrageous amount of commas and grammar stuff, I just threw this together.

Reviews

[terry smith]

Beautiful! you should write everything you feel till there is nothing left to say, then read it.It will help others in the same situation...I promise that!! then look for new feelings to fill the void. I know you can do it! :)

[Idk]

Thank you so much (: this means a lot

[Tales Of A Dreamer]

You are the mighty ocean, beautiful and serene like life. Stay strong, you've made it this far and this heart-enriching piece of writing of yours is truly extraordinary.

[Idk]

Thank you so much, that means a lot. (: