A Fallen Soldier's Last Thoughts

This short story takes place during the Civil War. It is about a solider that is laying on the ground thinking about everything that he will not be able to experience anymore.

I never given much thought to the fact that I was going to die while fighting this war. The thought of never seeing my family again did not cross my mind until now. Until I was laying in a field with a pool of my own blood slowly forming around me. I will never be able to see what the outcome of this war will be. Never see if I would earn the Medal of Honor for this country. The thought that I would never see the love of my life again.

Oh, my Annabelle. My beautiful Anna. We had grown up together. We lived next to one another for years. Our favorite game as kids were to go skip rocks across a lake not far from our great plantation homes. As we grew up, she became the most stunning women in the world. I was going to ask her to marry me - I never got the chance too. I was drafted into the confederate army and now I would never get to say goodbye to her. I never got to tell her how much I loved her, now I will never get the chance to. Now I am just another fallen soldier. Another human that has been shot by my own people in a fight for freedom. All because of freedom I will never see my sweet and lovely Annabelle.

If only I could have one more day with her. One more minute even. One more second to memorize her stunning face. To memorize the way the wind ruffles through her hair in summer, to memorize the smell of lingering flowers on all of her clothing. To be able to remember how my hand fit perfectly into her hand. To be able to have one more chance to have my breath taken away when she would walk into the room I was in. I wish that I was not on this filthy ground, filled with lifeless souls all going through what I am going through: saying goodbyes, and remembering what never would be again. But now, while they all remember the happy thoughts of their life, I began to mourn my love that never was truly mine. Trying to remember every little line on her face when she smiles, the glimmer in her eyes that shine brighter than the stars when she talks about her ambitions. How will she live without me? Will she find someone else to love her in my steed? Will she ever forget about me?

If I could say one last thing to my Annabelle. I would say, “Dear sweet Annabelle, nothing in this world even begins to describe my love for you. While I may be leaving you right now, just know that I will never forget you. My love for you will never falter. Annabelle my love, you are the most beautiful women I have ever laid eyes upon- you are the love of my life.”

I wish I was not stuck here. I wish that someone would come save me. I need to be saved so I can go back to my Annabelle. I know that is not going to happen though. I am a loss cause, a dying soldier. And as my thoughts linger back to my beautiful Anna, I close my eyes and take my last breath in the battlefield.

Author's Note

Just any advise to give to a high schooler that wants to enhance their writing is all. Thank you :)

Reviews

[Vic]

You could maybe add a bit about the surroundings/environment. How does it feel being trapped in a dying body? Does the soldier's heart fight for every beat, thought of Annabelle keeping it going just a little while longer? How did the soldier get hurt, does he think about the person that injured him? Did he have any friends still fighting or already dead? What was the weather like? What were the sounds and smells? Could he smell his own blood?