The Pleasant Passenger

The Pleasant Passenger
By Daniel Bigler

“Hello, this is your captain, Jon, speaking, we are expecting light turbulence on our ascent from San Francisco to Orlando. We will arrive in Orlando in about five hours, so sit back and relax.” The turbines wind up, as the plane taxies toward the runway. After receiving an all-clear from ground control the plane picks up speed and the plane shoots off the tarmac into the air.
During takeoff, the flight attendants announce over the p.a. system, “Welcome aboard this Boeing 737. Please pay attention to all posted and lighted signs and remain seated while the seat belt light is on. In the event of a loss in cabin pressure, a mask will drop down to put on. The bag may not inflate, but don’t worry, mine will. In the event this flight turns into a cruise over the Gulf of Mexico, please use your seat as a flotation device and enjoy the warm water. In the event you are not satisfied with our service, there are eight exits located on this plane; please locate your nearest exit. In all seriousness, we are here to serve you, let us know if you need anything.”
The flight soars into the air with 187 passengers, some of whom chuckle at the flight attendant’s safety speech. The flight attendants are busy checking their gallery. A group of about ten Chinese nationals sits about three-fourths down the plane in economy. The group discusses their plans in a loudly in their native tongue. This continues throughout the first half of the flight.
As the flight time approaches the third or fourth hour of the journey, flight attendants begin their beverage service. As she delivers drinks, she is shocked by the roller-boards blocking the aisle. She says to Olivia, the other flight attendant, “I don’t suppose these bags just walked out of the overheads by themselves.”
Olivia responds, “Maybe they just wanted to stretch their legs, you know how cramped it gets in here.” So, Olivia begins to look through the overhead bins. At first, she can’t find where the bags appeared from.
However, Olivia continues to search. She opens the double-wide compartment without the divide and it shuts right away. “You don’t see that every day,” she utters. She attempts to open the bin once more, yet the same thing happens. So, she opens up the other side of the bin. Olivia catches a glimpse of a five-foot-two Chinese man trying to sleep in the overhead compartment. Slam. The bin closes again.
The other flight attendant, Sofia, questions, “Why are you playing whack-a-mole with the same bin?”
“No, I’m playing peek-a-boo with an angry little man!” Slam. Slam. Slam.
Sofia says,”Let’s just regroup for now and find a way to deal with the pleasant little passenger up there.”
“Aghhh, It’s so frustrating. Just come here. We’ll both open one side each, got it?”
“Fine. We’ll try it your way first. I’m ready when you are Olivia.”
“Three. Two. Now!” the bin flies open fully revealing the Chinese national that just wanted to take a nice little nap. The man barks at the flight attendant and like a rubber band, the doors snap back into place in an instant.
“Aghhh, why can’t we just have a nice smooth flight.”
“Olivia, at least it keeps life interesting. Besides we wouldn’t be flight attendants if we couldn't handle a little turbulence. So let’s just regroup and call the captain.” They head back to the galley in front of the plane and alert the captain Jon.
Captain Jon says, “What the hell, how’d he get up there? I have to see this for myself.” So the Captain performs the cockpit dance, so he can escape the cockpit while a flight attendant takes his place; as is the usual in a standard bathroom maneuver. Captain Jon looks down the Aisle from the bulkhead and sees a pile of luggage about three-quarters of the way down. Then he looks to Olivia and says, “Hmmm, well he’s creative, I’ll give him that. How about you get a couple of large men from the back to help you escort our friend, out of the upward position.” Captain Jon returns to the cockpit and both Olivia and Sofia head to the rear to search for two large men.
They grab two men built like sequoia trees to assist in the removal and ask them if they will help. One of the big men, George is more than excited to help because he’s been so curious about the commotion and couldn't get a good look. While the other big man tightly gripping the seat with his left hand, Alfred, says, “Cough. Cough. Cough. I might be inclined to assist if you could help me out.” Alfred pats his shirt pocket with a clearly visible package of unopened cigarettes; then, he grabs back onto the armrest, tightly securing himself in place.
Sofia exclaims, ”I’m sorry sir, but smoking is against the Federal Aviation Administration’s guidelines. We can’t let you have a smoke.”
Olivia buts in, “But Sofie, I think we have a more pressing issue than smoking on a plane. A feisty Chinese national taking refugee in the overhead. Do you really think one smoke will make that much of a difference? Maybe we could smoke him out!”
“Oh, hush. Olivia, you know full well we can’t do that. It’s against federal regulation. Now, come on. Alfred is it, how about we work something else out.” The plane starts to rumble and shake. Passengers buckle their seatbelts. Over the pa system, Captain Jon announces, “We are flying into some turbulent weather. Please stay in your sits, it’s going to get choppy.”
Alfred tightens his seat belt more and grips the armrest even tighter and responds, “I’m sorry, smoking is the only way to calm my nerves. I’m not accustomed to traveling in high-speed aluminum tubing soaring through the air. And more than that, this death trap is starting to shake faster than a kid on a mission to get the last infinitesimal bit of ketchup out of the bottle. So there’s no way I can help in my current condition.”
Sofia rushes to the galley and calls Captain Jon and explains the situation, “The other man we need to assist in the removal is unable to help because he is too on edge from rarely traveling and that he hasn’t had a cigarette in over four hours.”
Captain Jon responds, “For the safety of the Chinese national, I will allow that passenger to have a small smoke to calm his nerves and assist in the removal.”
Sofia then informs Olivia that Alfred is cleared to calm his nerves. They escort Alfred to the lavatory and disable the smoke detector. Alfred grabs the seats he walks by for safety. Alfred hopes into the lavatory grabs a quick smoke and regains his composure. Alfred says, “Now that I have calmed down I am ready to help.”
Sofia says to George and Alfred, “I am going to move the luggage out of the way, so no one will trip on it. I am then going to open both bins at the same time and step aside. Once I move out of the way, it’s your job to reach in and pull the Man out of the overhead bin. Got it?” they both nod their heads in accordance. Sofia continues, “Olivia, it’s your job help me relocate the bags and grab the security kit from the gally, in case the situation escalates.” Olivia responds, “Aye aye, chief. We can finally end this problem.”
They move into place, scattered ready to move into position down the Aisle. “Three. Two. Now!” the bin flies open and George grabs the man’s chest, while Alfred grabs his lower body. They forcibly remove the man from his resting pod. The plane rumbles. In the removal, Alfred gets a sharp kick to the jaw powered by turbulence. Bam. Alfred stumbles backward, stunned from the kick. The Chinese man wrestles to escape but gets trapped in a bear hug by George. Alfred coughs and regains his composure securing the Chinese Man between them. Olivia hustles in with zip tie handcuffs.
Sofia Moves passengers around so that the back row next to the lavatory is empty. Olivia comments, “Now, that we’ve had our fun. It's time to babysit our friend here in the back, and make him a nice sandwich.” So the two men sit on either side of the Chinese man in the last row next to the lavatory.
The flight attendants return the luggage to the upper compartments. In the process of doing so, the other Chinese nationals on board hassle Sofia for moving the pleasant passenger out of the upright and lying position to the secure and sandwiched position in the rear of the plane. So, Olivia pulls out and waves another pair of handcuffs.
“Olivia, Don’t taunt them. You know better.”
“But, they’re quiet now. So peaceful. All is well again.”
“I suppose you’re right. Now go put those cuffs away and start writing the report. Remember to tell the captain to call flight control and explain our predicament.”
Five minutes later the captain says, “We will arrive in Orlando in thirty minutes. Once we land, please remain seated.”
The plane taxies to the gate and security marches to the back of the plane. They assist the Chinese man in evacuating the Airplane. They say, “Mr. Wong, we are taking you into federal custody.”
The next day, on another flight, Captain Jon announces, “Hello, this is your Captain speaking. We are expecting clear skies on our ascent to Dallas. We will arrive in approximately three hours, so sit back and relax. And remember the overhead bins are for you to rest your luggage, not for you to rest your head.”

Author's Note

Ignore grammatical errors. This is my first story, so please make constructive comments.