once

 

once

 

a simple man

 

once    while resting in my old lady’s elbow chair

                       in the good ole bye & bye of days

                                the sun peeked out & about

      while the sky still carried her bruise in hues

 

engaging stillness exchanged blows gracious

                     amid the attention & caution

               fashioning importance & respect

        in the midst of fumbling correctness

 

      i stumbled across a song

   words from a humble man

 whispering his laughing lore

healing me sound from harm

 

i could only raise             my face

 toward the sun’s thousand hands

                       as they applauded

                           this simple man

 

 

marlene elisabeth lennon ©

               august 25^th , 2oo8

 

Reviews

[THE LOST ROSE]

This was a really great write. I thank you creating and sharing such a creative message that sounds so good as a poem. The flow was perfect and each and every word fit this like a puzzle. I felt the same way you did after reading this.

[CarolinaBlu]

jessie b -

thanks for your feedback -
"but it was written in a way that only some reader's can really see that"

since this is being published as is
it is what it is -

many thanks for your comment -
me

[Jessie B]

i could tell that it had a lot of meaning to it, but it was written in a way that only some reader's can really see that. A little more work and i'm positive this can become an amazing poem! good job :)

[Heath Payton]

Well spoken with a solid meaning. Very clear what the message is.

[CarolinaBlu]

thank you for your feed back, fabian (even if you did delete your montage)

"there are those who will argue that poetry does not need to have logical progression
or even make sense; i am not one of them. . ."

if your way of thinking, there is no logical progession, but i see it differently.

me

[Pax Analog]

A smile-inducing enigma. Mysterious as the sun's thousand hands. Sets all sorts of strange impressions whirring, such as the secret wisdom of pores on random summer days. One feels surrounded by your words, a palpable atmosphere.

Simple, subtle, smiling sun.

[Nancy Lee Shrader]

This was quite good. Good job

[Leah]

Awesome. I wouldn't say that it is beautiful. No. It is awesome. Loved the story. Loved the poem itself!