A day in the life

There is no greater juxtaposition than light and dark, a juxtaposition which manifests itself in many forms.

Light is associated with safety, whilst dark is associated with danger. Light is associated with knowledge, whilst dark is associated with ignorance. Light is associated with good, whilst dark is associated with evil.

Similarly, the light of the day and the dark of the night largely dictates how we as a society live. In the light of the day, the majority of us either go to school or go to work. In the light of the day, the kids play outside whilst the adults mow the lawn. In the light of the day, we do things as a family. In the light of the day, we feel safe.

In stark contrast to the day, the dark of the night is when activity lessens for most of us. For the majority of this time we are sleeping but alas, and much to the chagrin of so many people out there, much of this waking time is dedicated to watching a large screen, usually 50 inches or more, that was designed to entertain us.

In the dark of the night, we feel afraid. We are so afraid of the dark that we light our homes to ensure that its presence is kept to a minimum. We are so afraid of the dark that even when we are camping we light a fire to ensure that the dark is kept at bay. We are so afraid of the dark that we even have a phrase, “Everything looks better in the cold light of day,” to indicate that things aren’t as bad as they would seem to be when dark is at its deepest.

Just as every day revolves around the juxtaposition of light and dark, so do our lives. We have good times and we have bad times. We have fortune and we have misfortune. We have health and we have sickness. We have life and we have death.

The following is a day in the life of Frances.

 

 

The Light

 

Frances came into the light on the 15^th of July, 1946, and was the first of four children born to Howard and Mary. Frances’ childhood growing up on the farm in Rosedale was a happy one and there were no happier times than when she was helping her my mum out by bathing the twins or baking a cake.

The light shone on Frances when awarded dux of the school in Primary School and continued to shine on her when she completed her matriculation in Secondary School. Frances’ dream of going to Burwood Teachers College soon became a reality and it wasn’t long before she was putting her newly found skills to use at Saint Patrick’s Primary School in Stratford.

The light continued to shine on Frances’ life when she met a strapping young man named John who was soon to become her husband. They were then blessed with four children who all grew up happy and healthy.

For the next twenty years, the light continuously shone upon Frances and her family. During this time, life, with all its ups and downs, went on as it always does. The problem with this daily grind of life is that we don’t necessarily see it for what it is.

We more often than not see these times as grey; they are not light, they are not dark, they are not black, they are not white, they are not good, they are not bad. Whilst these assessments may seem correct at the time, they are most definitely not.

It is during everyday life that life is at its fullest. It is during everyday life that life is at its most satisfying. It is during everyday life that life is worth living. Sometimes we forget that but we ought not.

It is important to be able to see the forest for the trees for it is only then that we will realize that what we thought of as grey times, were actually times when we were bathed in light.

 

 

The Dark

 

Just as the dark consumes the light every night, the dark consumed Frances’ world on the 26^th of November, 2004. It would not be an understatement to say that this envelopment came as a total surprise, just as it would not be an understatement to say that this envelopment changed her life forever.

Before the 26^th of November, 2004, Frances’ world was as bright as it had ever been. She was the proud grandmother of 4 grandchildren, all boys but as hope springs eternal, Frances always held out hope that a granddaughter was just around the corner, and had just been told that her youngest daughter was ready to start a family.

Even if her wish for a granddaughter hadn’t quite come to fruition yet, (there’s nothing wrong with grandsons but there’s something uniquely special about granddaughters), her wish for a loving husband, as well as a happy and healthy family, had been granted.

They say that ignorance is bliss and in many ways they are right but when that ignorance is finally shattered, when that house of cards falls down around you, you will know that that notion was nothing but an illusion.

The blissful ignorance that ruled over Frances’ life, the blissful ignorance that rules over most of our lives, was inexorably shattered on the 26^th of November, 2004, when told by her doctor that she had cancer. As Frances so eloquently put it herself, “I went to the doctors feeling fine but left feeling the worst I have ever felt.”

This shattering of Frances’ world was amplified by the fact that cancer was the last thing on her mind when she made the initial appointment with her doctor. She wasn’t feeling sick, she wasn’t feeling ill at ease, she wasn’t feeling any different to the way she had felt for the last forty years whilst raising a family and managing a farm.

No, it is safe to say that when Frances went to her doctor for something as mundane as getting her moles and freckles checked, she wasn’t expecting it to be something that was to change her life forever.

There’s no doubt that this diagnosis would have left Frances feeling somber at best, shattered at worst, but what went through her mind we can only speculate.

Did thoughts of yesteryear race though her mind or was it her stolen future that lay forefront in her thoughts? Did she rejoice at all of her wonderful memories or did she pine for future memories that would not be?

No, we cannot know what went through Frances’ mind on that fateful day in November but we know that, “There but for the grace of God, go I,” was on the lips of those who heard the news.

So what happens next? What happens after you are given the news that you have cancer? Do you shut down? Do you pretend that the diagnosis never happened and go on with your life as it once was?

No, of course you don’t. You fight and you fight hard because you know that being diagnosed with cancer isn’t the death sentence that it once was. You fight because that is what you have done all your life. You fight for your family and friends. You fight for the chance of holding your granddaughter in your arms. You fight because you have to.

But what exactly does a fight against cancer entail? There are a myriad of treatments available, both conventional and unconventional, all of which have their supporters and detractors. Whilst there is always debate about the pros and cons of chemotherapy, there is no such debate that a positive attitude is the most important aspect of any fight against the cruelest disease of the 21^st century.

It is only natural that any battle against a foe for twelve years has its ups and downs, there was no more down moment than when Frances had to shave her head, yet this moment quickly turned into an uplifting one when John decided to do the same in sympathy, but Frances’ attitude stayed remarkably positive for the duration of the battle that she was determined to win. But what can we attribute this positive attitude to? As with any battle that you are determined to win, there are a number of factors that help you to achieve that victory.

One such factor was the constant love and support of her family and friends. Whilst it is factually correct to say that nobody suffered more than Frances herself, it would be erroneous to suggest that her family and friends didn’t suffer just as much. All who knew and loved Frances were on the same rollercoaster of emotion, just as all who knew and loved Frances were experiencing the same highs and lows.

Another factor in Frances’ positive attitude was her faith in the Lord Jesus Christ. Frances was, and always had been, a person of great faith. This faith in the Lord permeated through everything that she said and did. This faith in the Lord was her constant companion. This faith in the Lord never erred, not even during her darkest days.

Frances was a firm believer that God never gave you anything that you couldn’t handle. Frances was a firm believer that God helps those who help themselves. Frances was a firm believer that God was good. It was this belief system that enabled Frances to stay positive when others, including family and friends, found it hard to do so.

They say that it is always darkest just before the dawn but for Frances the concept of a false dawn was more apt. This false dawn came in the form of a trial drug that at first worked well, so well in fact that her family and friends were lulled into a false sense of security and dare I say it, even somewhat derisive of the disease that was decimating her body, but soon became so ineffective that it was discontinued at which point the disease became more voracious than ever.

 

The Light

 

Just as the light consumes the dark every morning, just as the light consumes all worthy souls, the light consumed Frances on the 16^th of November, 2016. Do not be sad though, do not shed a tear, for Frances has gone from the loving embrace of John to the loving embrace of the Lord.