Confessions of an Eight Year Old Pankcake Addict

 

0700 hours any Sunday of the year…

 

I wake up in a state of uncontrolled hunger. I crave but one type of food: Pancakes. Unfortunately I am eight years old and have a good deal of difficulty speaking, so I will have to use whatever resources are available to me to get my point across.

 

First and foremost, I need a ride to a breakfast joint. I believe that I’ll employ Mike for this mission. The problem is that he’s sleeping. I suppose I could just shake him until he wakes up, but where is the sport in that? I will shake a jar of change, or hit him on the head with a whiffle bat, or perhaps just hang on one of his limbs until he realizes that he had better wake up or it will snap off… “Oh, I hit you with my robot doll? How clumsy of me. Say, as long as you’re up, get dressed I want to take you for some Pancakes.” Of course, he only hears the word “Pancakes,” but he gets the idea. Mike starts to get ready.

 

Here’s the thing: because I’m only eight…yes, I have a car per se, but I pretty much let Mike drive it and keep the keys. In return, he pays for it, gases it and insures it. No worries, I don’t have many places to go except for when I yearn for Pancakes.

 

I know this may seem like a lot of work for an eight year old kid to go through just to get a hot breakfast, but I am a man of few passions. I like my TV set to Disney Channel, I like my pets to be hyper and I like my Pancakes served often. I make no apologies for who I am.

 

So, we arrive at what is possibly the greasiest restaurant in the Western Hemisphere, but they do make a decent silver dollar, which is perfect for me, because I am small in stature. A portly waitress greets me, “Hi, Sweety,” assuming familiarity because we frequent the establishment.

 

My reply is, “Pancakes!”

 

After we’re seated Mike has this ritual of pointing out every picture on the menu other than my beloved Pancakes. I allow it to go on for a few moments before I become cross. Mike points to a burger. “No!” He then points to eggs. “No!” Next is the salad…now see here! I grab his pointing finger and force it to the picture of a syrupy stack. I look him dead in the eye, and utter the single word: “PANCAKES!”

 

The waitress arrives and I order my food myself so he won’t get it wrong, “Pancakes.”

 

“Say ‘please,’ Shawn.” Oh, of course. Where are my manners? “Please.”

 

A few agonizing minutes go by and I finally get what my heart has desired for at least an hour. I deliriously grab the bottle of syrup only to find Mike has moved it from my reach. “Are you sure you want syrup?” Oh, for the love of all that is sacred…

 

When it is all done and we are driving home, all is forgiven. I can’t wait to play with my hyper dog.

 

 http://www.myspace.com/chanceransom

 

Reviews

[East of Eden]

I love the energy of this piece and it's so vivid. Shawn's world revolves around pancakes n it's sacred. The bit about the car made me laugh. Overall a well written character n an intriguing insight into the mind of an eight year old :-p

[Samuel Dickens]

Being a boy, uh, a man of simple tastes, you really should be able to get your pancakes without so much interference and harassment, I think. I enjoyed this.

[Angel's Lady]

There's my favorite Michael! A terrific piece of writing here! Yummy!

[SweetPeachesAlways]

You are rapidly becoming my favorite writer! I must consume more...
Great write! Terrific sense of humor! Can I gush more? Probably not!

[Hendrix]

Made me chuckle , i remember what it was like being 8 , there where only a few things i cared about that was my toys, cartoons and my aching for sweets.

[Nicole (Carpe Diem)]

ha ha this is great, i loved it... i too love pancakes, they are one of my favorite comfort foods, and they are perfect any time of the day...
this was truly and enjoyable piece of writing...

[All faded blue]

Made me smile!!

[Jadarae]

LOL... This is absolutely too cute. Wonderful read.

[Dorothy]

This is too cute. Also too true! Once kids a fixation they don't relent; you can try and show them something else but they don't give up. Kids are so cute with their single focus, but are sometimes annoying to "adults."

[Emily B]

This is really cute. You've injected a lot of humor here. Are you sure the kid is 8. Seems more like 3 or 4 to me. Of course my 8 yr old would be trying to make his own pancakes.