Wake Up

Short story.

Where do we go when we die? Do we spiral into never ending darkness, nothingness? Are we taken to an ethereal plane where we can see our loved ones and those we once knew? Does anything happen at all, or does everything just stop? Then we cease to exist. 

The thoughts ran through Nathan's head round and round like a carousel, as he takes a deep inhale off of another aerosol can. This time holding in the fumes as long as he can until his lung capacity finally quits and he is forced to exhale. The years of deep depression and pessimistic fears have plagued Nathan's life for years. Even though he is still relatively young. It feels as if this feeling has followed him a lifetime. This feeling of worthlessness. Knowing that you have ever reason to be content, but for some reason you're not. You're lost, inside a shadow of your former self. Now all he can think about is who he once was, and who he has become. Depression can cause people to do a lot of things. Hurt themselves, hurt others. With Nathan it was simple, drugs. A craving to feel nothing. He just wanted to be numb as long as he could. Trying to escape reality, if even for just a minute. By his early twenties Nathan had tried all sorts of drugs, swapping one for the other. None of them ever seemed to make him feel any better. Just lengthened his ability to keep moving in life, not forward, just moving. His latest drug of choice was huffing aerosol cans. They were cheap, easy to obtain, and seemed to do a great job of numbing himself. He knew it was dangerous, and could lead to his death, but didn't care. He just wanted to escape himself for however long he could. Nathan is about to take another hit when he hears the front door open. 

"Hello?" a voice echos through the living room. 

Nathan hesitates to answer, being in a confused state halts his thought process for a moment. Then he gathers himself and answers.

"Yea mom, it's me."

But he gets no answer. Instead he only hears the front door close and the sound of footsteps as they head upstairs followed by another door closing shut. Weird? He thinks. Usually she would have answered him. Maybe he did something to piss her off. Still, she couldn't even acknowledge that he was there? The anger that he felt was quickly trumped by the urge to hit another can. So he reaches under the couch where he had stashed the one he was using before he was interrupted by his mother walking in. A brief surge of endorphins rush to his brain as he takes another deep inhale and feels the tingly numbness wash over him again. Much better. He starts flipping through channels on the TV, when he hears his phone start to ring. He picks it up to see who it is. It' his older sister whom he hasn't heard from in quite awhile. Another hesitation overcomes him as he decides whether or not to answer. After all, he doubts she has anything good to say. After a few seconds he makes up his mind and answers the phone. 

"Hello?"

"Nathan? How have you been? I haven't heard from you in awhile."

"Yea, I've been fine. Just trying to you know get through school and stuff."

"That's good! How have you been feeling lately, better?" she asks as if she is walking on egg shells.

"Umm, yea I been feeling fine, I guess. Nothing has changed really, I still feel the same. Isolated, alone, you know?"

"Well you know you always have me to talk to if you want. I'm your big sister. I'll always be there for you." she says in a comforting voice.

"I know. It's just hard sometimes. With you being so far away, and Mom is always gone or working. I have no one. No one to talk to or be around. I feel stuck."

"Well talking to someone helps. You haven't been doing that one stuff have you?

"What?" he exclaims with an annoyed after tone.

"You know, huffing?"

"No, I haven't! Okay?"

"Okay, okay. I was just making sure. You know that stuff can kill you. You're not stupid. You're a smart kid and I don't want to see you ruining your life and hurting yourself with that stuff. It's like poison."

"I know!" he yells.

"Fine. I'm just looking out for you. Just know this. No one else can make your life better. Only you can. If you're feeling alone or depressed, then go out and do something about it like try and meet new people instead of getting high and huffing and slowly killing yourself. I love you and want you to get through this. Sometimes when you're really depressed, you need to hit rock bottom to see how bad things really are. I just don't want you to see how good things can be when it's too late."

"I know. I have to try more. Maybe one day I will be happy. But right know, I just want to deal with this in my own way! So please stop lecturing me like mom and let me be!"

"Okay Nathan! I'm sorry. Just know that I love you and want to get better. Call me or talk to me sometime, whatever, just let me know how you're doing."

"Okay I will, love you too. Bye." as he hangs up the phone.

For a second. His sisters words rang through his head. He couldn't help but ponder about his choices and just how much they have affected his life, and not for the better. But he was content with them, because they were his choices and he made them. After all, it's his life. As he reaches down to take another hit of his can, he is interrupted by another set of footsteps, this time coming from upstairs. But they are not regular footsteps. They are frantic, as if someone is running in a panic. Something was wrong.

"Mom?" he calls out to reply of emptiness.

Nathan gets up from the couch and starts walking up the stairs towards his room where the footsteps lead. As he is walking through the hallway he can't help but hear something. Sobbing? He can hear the sound of someone crying uncontrollably from in his room. It sounded like his mother. But why was she crying? 

"Mom....." he utters walking slowly to his bedroom door. But again there is no reply. As he opens his door he sees his mother on the floor next to his bed crying. He moves in to comfort her, but notices something odd. A hand laying down the side of his bed. As he draws his eyes over to his bed, his heart stops and a strange feeling of shock hits him cold in his tracks. A lifeless body lays on his bed, partially covered with a blanket as his mother kneels next to it crying and crying. The more he stands there processing this information, the more he starts to realize, that this lifeless body strewn across his bed, is his. The same clothes, the same hair, just laying there, not breathing. Just pale and motionless. He is standing there looking down on his deceased self, with nothing to do but stare in shock. His mother dials 911 and frantically asks for an ambulance.

"Help, please! I just walked into my son's room and found him motionless and not breathing. There is an empty aerosol can next to him! I think he's dead! He's not responding!" She can be heard screaming as she tries to force the words through her uncontrollable tears.

As the paramedics wheel out the body covered with a white sheet on a stretcher, Nathan's mother and sister can be seen standing by watching as tears stream down their faces. They embrace each other and sob while trying to make some sort of sense of the circumstances that have just altered their lives. The sound of the ambulance siren pierces through the cold night air, as his stretcher is lifted up into the ambulance and the doors close, driving off into darkness. 

        

Wake Up

By Chris C. 

Author's Note

Comments are more than welcome. What are your thoughts on this story?

Reviews

[Kringefest]

That twist hit me like a brick... I literally had my mouth open in shock. What a descriptive, subtle story you have here! There's a sharp-yet-wonderfully-excecuted twist that amazingly ties in with the little part in italics in the beginning of the short story.

The only mistake in this story (that I noticed right away) is in this sentence: "His mother dials 911 and frantically ask for an ambulance...", where "ask" should be "asks".

Other than this, I do not see any critical errors. Perhaps you could read through it again to avoid unintentional double spaces... ("They embrace each other and sob while trying to make some sort of sense[..]")

[camps]

Thanks for the review and the kind words!

[Kringefest]

No problem, mate!