Black On White

When I lift my pen sometimes it feels
Heavy as a sword, it cuts into the paper
So deep and satisfying
Satiated are the demons
The past, regrets, fears, hopes unrealized-
Alive, I curse the inner child that dreamed
And welcome the seduction of the now
But with my pen I resurrect it all

If my voice is loud enough will it drown you out?
I just want silence in my mind for now.
If my screams in ink are blatant will they be heard?
I don't want you to stop hearing me
Just because my scream is silent, black on white-
Does that have to mean that it's all in vain?

So I lift the little dagger, now,  dip it deep into my soul
Bleeding out the salvation of my sin,
One word at a time leaving no doubt to you
That I'm alive, inside this shell, waiting to be reborn
Unable to cry out loud, I still feel it all, every moment..
In each moment I am breathing,  I relive those other moments

If I explain myself to you now, will you understand?
I just want another voice to resonate with mine.
If the page is turned to cinder, will you remember my words?
I don't want you to forget who it is that I am
Just because my scream is silent- black on white
Does that mean that I've done it all in vain?

Every sin that I've committed, I pay for every hour
Every self that I've created, I want to retroactively abort
Every word I've said to you, was only half of me
So I'm writing it down, who I really am, and what you've never seen
We all need someone to understand, to know
I failed you, disappointed you yet again
Because my one true voice is locked inside my pen
Let me resurrect myself, before your eyes- black on white
 

Reviews

[Legion]

A great expose into the mind of the author. A challenge to not only be heard but to be remembered no matter what happens. Good work.

[Mariah]

Hmm. This really speaks to me, for some odd reason. I can really connect with the poem. Hmm. *thoughtfulness*

I like the title.

'When I lift my pen sometimes it feels
Heavy as a sword, it cuts into the paper
So deep and satisfying'

You can't say it any better than that.