Shivering in Summer

I guess you saw something I didn't.

Sitting in a baseball field,

arms crossed over legs,

shivering as the sun turned its back

to give us some privacy.

You were always so beautiful when you cried,

there was something angelic about it.

Tragic, but transfixing. 

Sometimes I wonder what would have become of us if I had accepted your offer,

sitting in the darkening outfield, tears spilling from those limpid caramel eyes.

You gave me the choice to walk away from you and your problems.

You realized you needed something different. I thought I could still carry you, keep you above the s**t that surrounded us.

But I walked into a blizzard without a coat, absentmindedly freezing us both to death.

I was unprepared, and you were the one who was hurt because of it.

Every second touching you was worth days of whatever the f**k I'm doing now.

Walking away from you then would have stolen more of those seconds than I can count.

It's so incredibly selfish, but I'm glad I tried to stay.

I may have felt stupid in my shorts as the snow began to fall, but I'm glad I got to walk next to you until the ice buried me here.

I'm glad you made it out.

I'm glad you're warmer now.

I will find my way out, eventually.