Comets

Thought of it while in a taxi. Hope you like it

Small clear comets plummet from the heavens, tails fiery white. They tumble through the masses of stars that blink at their passing. The cold night air seems to wave with their descent. But as they fall against the sheet of see-through ice, they melt and slide in waves. Merging...and sliding...down against the coldness.

Falling...

            Falling...

                        Falling...

   ...Until...

The moment they fall over the edge, they spill upon the cool flat stones below and well up. Well up and overflow...

 

Rain falls against my window.

Author's Note

Any suggestions?

Reviews

[Lucia]

wow...intense! I was listening to "love in the ice" while reading this and I don't know why, but it just seemed to fit. ahah you'll laugh at this...I even imagined JaeJoong from DBSK dramatically reading this LOL
awesome job...great style...and very intriguing.

[Naomi Montana Walsh]

This was very pretty I like the decending style you used..so lovely leave it as it is..

[KimmiChristine(:]

Great job. I love thinking how rain came from something thousands of feet above us. Its extrodinary isn't it :). You expressed this miracle very well in your poem. Perfection :D

[Leah Elisabeth]

I really like this. The imagery is very clear and well defined by your words. It actually reminds me of the kind of stuff i did when I first started writing poetry. Well done.

I like it just the way it is.
The whole format of the poem really makes it stronger, in my opinion.