The Past

Things left behind

We carry many things on our shoulder
We are just as folders
We contain everything from the past
It is something so vast

It happened so fast
It will last
to make us contrast
and to eventually surpass

It lies unchangeable yet
That is not all it will set
It does not determine the outcome, and
It is not like something that is planned

The ability to change
it is something in range to exchange
A great value to be trade
It is able to be evade

It will be able to be fade
As if it was hidden in shade
You will be unrecognized forever
Just as if you were always clever

Reviews

[Lorraine]

I like the comparison with folders. I find it pretty hilarious but so true. I've never imagined people to be like that, but the way we carry so many burdens with us each day, we might as well be folders. That's a refreshing and unique analogy. However, I suggest you correct some grammatical errors and tone down your rhymes. You don't really need to rhyme to make good poetry. This one already has a good concept to begin with.

Keep Writing. ^___^

[J. Alexis Balaguer]

Somehow your rhymes are a bit too much, but I do see your message in this.

I wish you well and keep writing,
Alex

[Saturn's Lover]

I loved the message but the rhyme seemed a bit forced.

[siamois]

Very well done and though I'm awful at poetry myself (especially rhyming) I think it was well stated. Keep up the good work.

[Daydreamer54]

ok when it gets close to the end it doesn't make sense, but i like these lines:We carry many things on our shoulder
We are just as folders
To me that's a great simile. All and all it was kinda good. :)

[Wicahpi]

Sometimes things are hard to leave behind.
Somethings never fade; while others completely
disappear. I think you should try some none rhyming
poetry :)