Cold

Their bedroom is warm, and the scene is left on pause

The audience watching, enthused with applause

 

The book on the floor

Is open, pages unread

 

The blood in the carpet,

Whsipers words unsaid

 

The cuts on Mom's wrists

The gash in Dad's head

 

The three red headed girls,

Strangled, and dead

 

A family that's over

A story untold

 

And five sets of lips,

Unkissed, and forever cold

Reviews

[Trca]

YAY FOR THE MACABRE! I enjoyed this piece very much (is the creepy?)
Normally to get my shivers i read Poe or Kafka, however, your style( in this piece) is more poetic, shorter, and it leaves more unsaid :)
Good show!

[Miss Coral]

Wow. I did not expect that, and it was raw and gritty and just... simply.... dark.
Written extremely well though. Wonderful little rhyme scheme you have there, and the imagery is vivid (unfortunately in some way).

Very well done though. Powerful piece, especially towards the end.

-Coral-

[luciddreamer]

Chilling....very good writing

[Honestly, Abe]

Sent shivers up my spine. Everything you write is so original. You've instantly become an inspiration to me.

[Wish!!!]

Ohh God... that was cold and dark... all so exquisitely factual... how beautiful... it's going into my shelve...

[Abdul Aziz]

This is extremely well written. This played like sad music, conjuring very vivid images. This write has an inherent rhythm to it, and the rhyme is very good too. You are a versatile writer!

[J.M]

Wow - that was definitely unexpected, but also excellently written. I particularly liked ' The blood in the carpet,
Whsipers words unsaid'. A very vivid and haunting poem. Good work!

[fliptheskript]

That was cold and touching

[zombiikillah666]

whoa . this is dark and gooood. xD

[Matthew Kult]

A tear is in my eye. I love it. I think this is a fantastic piece, and reminds me of "the Red Dragon". Excellent flow, excellent imagery and just an excellent work. I can not wait to read more.