Minuet in Minor

Timely and tidy in taking their places,

The instruments tuned to their trebles and basses,

As fluttering hearts rush a flush through the faces,

With ev’rything rightly set.

Gracing the stage in a glistening glow,

As the curtain is drawn to get on with the show,

With a tap of the toe and a swish of the bow,

He goes rising up and rolling over,

Playing the Minuet.

 

The sun arcs akimbo, the clouds billow by,

The moon sways surreally, the stars pirouette,

The wind stirs the seas and the trees on the fly,

In step with the movements of his silhouette.

The woodwinds with gusto establish the story,

The brass etch the edge to embolden the glory,

And zinning the zing with the strings to the score-

He goes rising up and rolling over,

Painting the Minuet.

 

Casting the charms in the lime of the light

Through the gloom of the room still and solemn as night

With the blank velvet stares of nobody in sight,

And yet harbouring no regret.

Mellow, profound, by the music possessed,

Ev’ry finger so nimble, each note finely stressed,

And as with the cadence it all comes to rest,

He goes rising up and rolling over,

Dancing the Minuet-

Rising up and rolling over,

Dancing the Minuet.

-EDP

Reviews

[H L Rose]

I don't know why I never reviewed this one! Obviously the flow and rhythm is well done as always and the language is provoking. The alliteration is beautiful throughout.

I like the form, especially the rhyme scheme. The fourth line in the first and third stanza as well as the refrain offers a nice break from the rhymes, and a definitive transition to the new rhymes. The rhyming of this same line in each stanza and the rhyming of “Minuet” connects the stanzas effectively. The middle stanza is cool in how it changes it up because it further carries the “Minuet” rhyme and makes it more prominent making the connection and flow between the stanzas more prominent. I like how “score” drops the complete rhyme(I'll talk more about that in a minute) and how the form does not feel overdone or tired yet still offers a multitude of rhymes.

I love the transition in the first stanza from the setting of the stage behind the curtain to the stage that would be visible to the audience. All the techniques: the rhyming, alliteration, assonance, and the rhythm of the metrical feet play into the imagery. “With a tap of the toe and a swish of the bow” is my favorite line in this stanza. The imagery is fantastically expressed by the literary techniques which work off each other so well. It also waltzes into the refrain quite nicely.

The word choice is my favorite thing about the second stanza. I had to look up “akimbo” and “pirouette” and discovered that they offer imagery with a personality of sorts(if that makes sense). The dropping of the complete rhyme with “score” like I mentioned before, make me imagine a dramatic pause in the middle of the performance. The refrain picks up so well after that pause. For that reason, and for the same reason as in the first stanza, “And zinning the zing with the strings to the score-” is my favorite line in the poem as a whole.

I love the context giving in the final stanza. This adds a whole new life to the poem and along with your wording is my favorite part. The wording of “lime of the light”, “blank velvet stares of nobody”, and “each note finely stressed” are fine examples of what I mean. They express the concept across clearly yet uniquely. “With the blank velvet stares of nobody in sight,” is my favorite line of this stanza and a close second to my favorite of the poem. The repeating of the refrain again at the end is a great way to finish that keeps the image alive for the reader.

Again, I don't know why I never reviewed this one. I enjoy reading it line by line and the tone is beautiful along with the concept. A pleasure to read!

[emipoemi]

So glad you enjoyed it! And what a thorough review! For starters, a minuet is a type of waltz, so this poem is written to the tempo of said waltz WITH characteristics of the musical form as well, which goes A - B - A in rhythm/melody (which is why Stanza 2 is a bit different from Stanzas 1 and 3). As for the "score" factor. It's not a pause. It's interesting how you interpreted it as that, for it def can be, but you have to follow the rhythm. The flow on "zinning the zing" goes into a crescendo up until "score", and "He goes rising up" has a certain rhythm/melody that requires the previous line to have ended masculinely. So the genius here, is that the "he" is forming the other half of the rhyme ("story - glory - score/He").

I'm so proud of this poem, and honestly think it one of my best creations, and so happy it got one of your extensive, and thought-out reviews. Thank you! Much appreciated.

p.s. you end up understanding the story?

[H L Rose]

That gives soooo much more depth to this! That had to be fun to write it with that specific musical style in mind. I love the "score" thing even more now!

I think there is a part of the story I am missing. What I think I have caught is there is no one watching or listening yet he plays on like he wishes, however, I haven't quite related the "sun", "clouds", "moon", and "stars" from the middle stanza to the setting which I think is part of what's keeping me from getting the whole story.

[emipoemi]

.....read between the lines. What is the first stanza saying, and what is the last stanza implying?

[H L Rose]

Well the first one sets the stage(seemingly a literal stage) and he starts the minuet and in the last stanza it seems no one has showed up for the show, but he is not troubled and continues his performance gladly.

[emipoemi]

now add the elements of the middle, and you get the clearer of the two possible full interpretations.

[H L Rose]

The language does suggest a literal “painting” but I'm not sure how to marry that with the other stanzas.

The stanza also feels like nature is accompanying his playing suggesting an outdoor scene but again I don't know how to connect that completely.

Hmmm, perhaps I need to practice my analytical skills.

[emipoemi]

.....perhaps.

[H L Rose]

... dang it.
your not gunna tell me are you

[emipoemi]

......not publically

[Amanda Trerotola]

You paint such a beautiful picture. I love the rhyme scheme as well.

[emipoemi]

Thank you so much!! This was definitely one of the poems I enjoyed writing the most. So glad you liked it.

[Nigel Newman]

Quite, quite delightful. Lovely rhythm and some beautiful phrases. I'm particularly taken with the emotion that runs through the whole piece, rising above accurate execution of musical instructions. There is soul in his performance.

Very nice work!
Nigel

[emipoemi]

Thank you!! Glad you enjoyed it.

[Crowley]

what a great piece. This rolled downhill with an ease that is astounding. Rhythm created by the rhyme scheme was outstanding. This was crystal clear, tonally pleasing and all around brilliant write.

[emipoemi]

Thank you so much! Glad you enjoyed it.

[Rapturecapture]

Breathtakingly beautiful! loved reading, thank you for sharing!

[emipoemi]

thank you for reading! glad you enjoyed it.

[C.E.M.]

You took my breath away. WORDS are ART and you use them so well here, my friend :)

[emipoemi]

Thank you so much! So glad you enjoyed it.

[Onlyme]

Poetically flowing just as the sights and sounds of his orchestra with such easy and grace.

[emipoemi]

So glad you enjoyed it. Thanks for reading.

[Chris Shaw]

Beautiful poem emipoemi. Lyrical and nicely composed. Also it has lovely imagery.

Chris

[emipoemi]

Thank you. Glad you enjoyed it.

[alanwgraham]

Great cadence and rhyming perfectly matched to your subject. It is really fantastic how you have made this little musical story come alive and progressing through playing and painting to dancing.
You've made it look easy and i'm sure it wasn't!
Regards,
Alan

[emipoemi]

This poem is one of my recent ones (max 2 years old), so at this point in my writing career, if the idea has incubated enough, it tends to be easy to write. This was relatively easy. But I'm so glad you enjoyed it. Thanks for reading.

[emily.c.]

beautiful rhythm. very romantic and elegant. Loved reading this.

[emipoemi]

So glad you did! Thank you so much!