Rain King

Terza Rima

Rolling thunder invades thy soul

O moisture laden ghoulish figure

Winds have changed, air gone cold.

 

Brother of thunder strikes thee down

O burning sword of blue-white steel

Rain is thy blood, which falls upon town.

 

Hungry children watch in wonder

O fallen champion has spilled thy guts

Breath has faded, soul torn asunder.

 

From the ashes of slain rain kings

O castles of green flourish with life

Laughter bellows, voices carry, love sings.

 

O thy spirit's floating army will never surrender

For determination breeds such infinite splendor.

Reviews

Brilliant rhythm and flow- had me hooked from line one.

You've portrayed the rain, the thunder, in a way that is different from most. I especially like how this poem tells a story, starting off with a sense of impending doom and then becoming something positive. Cheerful, even.

Neat write. I really enjoyed it.

[Lyrical Love]

For determination breeds such infinite splendor.---.My favorite line!
Thanks for sharing something so great.

[JC]

This has a feel, that reminds me of something out of Beowulf. I like the choice of old English dialectic, something you do not see much of anymore. Unique.

Excellant flow and imagery.

Kudos!
JC

[Mimozi]

This is a great piece, not a word out of place. The imagery it conjures is magical...starts off real dark but ends on such a positive romantic note. What to way to "feel" the rain!
I usually find it wet and annoying...mostly! :-)

[Helena]

Gordon, this was a very well crafted poem. I could not fault anything.
Sentiments and form spot on for Sal's contest, thanks for submitting
this beauty. Well done!

Helena