VENTING AGAIN

Starting to really want to give up. I give up on my decisions because i always make the wrong choices, i give up on trusting myself or anyone else because i get hurt. And i give up on life because its just cruel. 

Iv began to relise i dont try enough with things. Like life in general i dont try to get my life going so its at a standstill, and maybe thats because im to weak in allot of ways. And i have no sense of direction. I mean im emotionaly weak as *** and so unmotivated. I need help mentally but most people dont help as much as they try. There are glimpses of when life is just ok but thats about it. 

I feel like im always craving an emotional kind of love maybe thats why i have always had a boyfriend. But i always seem to get hurt in the end.

I relly on everyone else i have no independence and i yearn to be loved the way i thought i deserved to be loved.

 

But latley idk if i deserve the kind of love i dream about. It seems like its always me doing something wrong. And im always talking about myself and my emotions when i get so deeply hurt, that it feels to my partner that his feelings dont matter. But they do. 

It may see. Selfish but i really need to feel supported and loved and heard before i can hear someone else out, maybe its just the way i am. My emotions are becoming way to much to handle and im loosing it!!!!

cimmywuv
Thu Apr 13, 2017 4:09 AM

Everyday is just another day to walk through like a zombie.... another lifeless day.... another day in the way. 

To a great day planned, like a party, or a date your planning on going away, traveling. 

Besides those good days, that don't come much.... every other day is just another day, another day in the way!