green mile

green mile

 

 

 

convictions,

not in the courtroom

but in the courting of the heart

 

suspenseful verdicts 

read by a jury of fears

love is either guilty or not

of treacherous play

 

but murdered emotions

get recompense in the end

 

convictions,

capital punishment, putting trust to death

she wonders why his face shows no emotions

as her heart is scathingly raped inside

 

she smiles through her tears

as her viability to move on

has its last meal,

 

and that long walk begins

down the aisle,

 

in the opposite direction

as her life is permanently altered...

 

a few buttons torn off,

affections disheveled

he didn't get as far as he wanted

 

but she will always feel the assault

each time her heart shies away.

 

 

erin-cilberto

5/13/16

Reviews

[revalatia]

I really enjoyed this read. A bitter sweet realism expressed through each verse. --and like most art, totally a piece that can be seen in a variety of ways. I like the way you write dude, keep it coming :)

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind words, revalatia...

j.

[Anima Akuffo]

Sir Jake I salute you. Your style of writing is captivating. It does something to the imagination and emotions at the same time. Pen on - Im your eager spectator!

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your very kind words, Anima

j.

[barleygirl]

Wow! Wow! And Wow! This one really grabs me! I love the way you've selected the "Green Mile" analogy & then stuck to it artfully & stubbornly, thru-out. As always, you turn words & phrases just a tweak away from the original, twisting an old fave into your own original mind-blowing creation.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind review, barleygirl...
j.

[GreenShoes]

This is truly stupendous. :)))

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for the kind words, Karen...

j.

[Daisie Vergara (Dhaye)]

Sir, this is so moving. So sad to know that two persons who were supposed to be one walked in separate ways. You have written a very effective piece here, sir. Thank you for sharing.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your words, Dhaye.

j.

[prayashkoiralaktm]

Just speechles,priceless...just got goosebumps by your writing .....you're phenomenal and an extremely critical writer.One of the best pieces of writing i've ever been through.KEEP IT UP,.,.,.,.,U MADE MY DAY

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your very kind review,

j.

[richieb]

Clever play on love and the game within the game. I enjoyed reading the courtroom drama as a means of description.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you, richie...
j.

[redzone]

ironically or maybe not, in S. King's book "The Green Mile", he was innocent... ironic because love and trust are put to death, but they too are innocent victim's of our inability to know how to do either or both of these things and so it's no wonder she and he walk in different directions even as we do not intent to.. at least not in the beginning, later it sometimes becomes more conscious not to change direction...

it seems Jacob, that green mile is alive and sinister when it comes to love..

redzone

[jacob erin-cilberto]

you are right, they are innocent victims...i agree...

appreciate your insights, Curt.

j.

[aLittlePain]

An enlightened expression of the often tumultuous road of relationships. Pain, regret an all too real reality that is hard to come back from, this is close to home!

Beautiful form and expression as always Jacob.

Regards
Rach

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind review, Rach...

j.

[Shabeeh Haider]

You have woven a short tale of the regrets and pain that does not die after a relationship has been terminated due to rising doubts and accusations.
The long walk down the aisle in the opposite direction is a tragedy that should not happen.
Beautifully expressed.... as always

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind words, Shabeeh..

j.