Mud

Mud

A Story by Ann Elise Monte
"

Very short story written for the "One-Syllable Words Only Chall-onge". Hence, I could only use one-syllable words. (FIXED)

"

 

“Crap! How cold is it?” Jack made a face as he stood in the rain.
“Um, cold?” I stood in the frame of our front door. “You could just come back here, you know. It’s nice and warm.”
“But I don’t want to,” Jack whined. The kid was in his late teens, and he still did that.
“You’ll freeze out there,” I warned. “Oh, great. Snow.”
Jack grinned and caught a flake on his tongue. “Come out here. This is fun.”
“It’s too cold,” I said. Jack was my kin, but he was hard to live with. I could not get why he’d stand out in the rain and snow. He would come back in soaked from head to toe, and Mum would yell at him. It did not change his ways, though. Jack did what we felt like.
“You’re no fun,” Jack told me. “You don’t do fun stuff. You need to be more like me.” There was no way I would bring him in right now, so I gave in.
“Fine,” I said as I stepped out to the cold. One of Jack’s friends snuck up and threw a ball of snow at me. I had no clue where he got it from. There was no snow on the ground yet.
“Yes!” he yelled. “Got you!”
I kneeled on the ground and made a ball of mud to throw back at him. I threw it and got him right in the face. We spent the rest of the day at war in the mud.
When Mum called us in, we were brown and wet. She yelled at both of us, but I did not care. I got Jack now, in more than one way. Half the mud on him was from me. Not just that, but I knew why he liked days like this. Now I did, too.

© 2010 Ann Elise Monte



Author's Note

Ann Elise Monte
This is much better than my first attempt, "Child of the Night", I think. The flow is much better. (I've removed the two-syllable words that slipped my notice in the previous version)

My Review

Would you like to review this Story?
Login | Register




Featured Review

wow this is nice... hehehe is it hard making this one?


Posted 7 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

wow this is nice... hehehe is it hard making this one?


Posted 7 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

A good effort and an interesting premise for the tale. This was a nice little challenge I thought.

Posted 7 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Haha, I like this one too. There are two two-syllable words in there, though :P

Good luck in the contest.

This review was written for a previous version of this writing

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.


Request Read Request
Add to Library My Library
Subscribe Subscribe


Stats

934 Views
3 Reviews
Rating
Added on December 5, 2009
Last Updated on January 5, 2010
Tags: one-syllable, siblings, learning, understanding
Previous Versions

Author

Ann Elise Monte
Ann Elise Monte

Fantasyland, beside a mass grave of dead story ideas, Australia



About
I write Young Adult fiction and my longer works tend to contain strong fantasy and romantic elements. My shorter works have more variety because I find it easier to maintain non-magical stories for sh.. more..

Writing