Prologue

"YOU ALWAYS MESS UP!" The screaming, the fighting. "You're fake." The cold hard tone of his voice. "I HATE YOU!" The slap of his hand as it came in contact with her cheek. The shocked look on his face. Her hand, reaching for the burning spot on her cheek, staring at him. The spinning room... her head dizzy. The world imploding. Blues, blacks, whites. Blurry figures.Running out the door. The sound of the slamming door behind her. Running, running. Just run. "Heather, I'm sorry." calling after. She didn't turn to look at him. She had to keep running, get away. "Heather! Please, come back!" Running, senseless, one foot in front of another. The pounding of her sneakers on the pavement, the thrumming of her heart. His voice echoing in her ears. "Always mess up...always mess up...always mess up." Escape. She had to escape. The tears streaming down her face. The cold wind. Running. Past the elementary school. Running. Jump the stream. Running. Into the woods. Running. The branches ripping and slashing against her arms. Turmoil. "I HATE YOU...HATE YOU...HATE YOU." Running. Flying through the trees. Her cheek burning. Running. The world whipping past her. Running. Jump the log, keep running. Just keep running. The smack of his hand. Running. The look on his face. Running. Keep running fast enough. Keep running 'till all the memories are gone. Keep running 'till the pain disappears. The fight, their first fight. Running. He hit her. Hit her. Running. Outrunning the betrayal.

Author's Note

So, what do you think? Anything to fix? Should I keep writing?

Reviews

[jason]

This is an interesting way to begin the book.

The prologue does set the scene for your story and the reader is going to know from this (I think) the type of novel this is going to be.

The short sharp sentences are effective in giving a punchy feel to the text.

For me, this doesn't hit me in the face (excuse the pun) and make me immediately want to read on but having taken a sneaky look at the beginning of the first chapter I think the first sentence of chapter 1 does exactly that.

I think you should always keep writing if you have the story in your head - if you enjoy writing that's really what's going to be important and to finish a book must surely be satisfying (not done it myself yet!)

[Melody]

I like this. I think this is one of the most interesting prologues I've ever read.