Discussion Topic: 2

im so sorry, i just wanted to post this even though its not necessarily a story. i just wrote a short paragraph on the 20's and todays music differ and pointing some and not all of the differences.

Music of the 20’s compared to today, have manifested greatly. The way jazz was being described made it seem as if the musicians were all connected and were communicating with each other to create powerful music on the spot. It was kind of like a “spit” but in jazz form and had more soul in it as compared to hip hop. Also, it was more organic. All that was needed to create jazz were the instruments in your hands and your buddies to help create wonderful music. Nowadays music is created with loads of technology and alterations, which isn't a necessarily bad thing ,but still displays the differences in terms of composing music. One last thing I’d like to add was that the Harlem renaissance seemed as if Jazz were the ONLY thing to listen to. That was all the music out at the time and obviously in today's time we have a range of genres. Maybe it was because as a nation they had not evolved to that point or that Jazz was so compelling to listen to that nobody wanted to make any other type of music besides that. Today, we can now look back and see which music genre we enjoy and reminisce over it or just enjoy the music that our generation is creating.

Music I listen to is sort of hard to criteria but the main artists I like to listen to is twenty one pilots and Panic! At The Disco. What makes songs meaningful are of course the lyrics and what message it brings out. Also, the tone the song is sung in is a big one. Without a doubt, music definitely reflects the world around me. It’s just a super exciting and fascinating way to view the world cultivated into rhythms, beats and clever rhymes .

Author's Note

please correct me on my grammar or if i wasn't clear on parts. i need the criticism

Reviews

[Ana B.]

I'm not a good critic....i can only say that music is a great discussion topic. I'm a fan of the 60's jazz.....music is my muse and drug of choice :)
The souls of a man can remain as a legacy through music. It has always been like that. It will always be like that. Great start, and welcome to Writer's Cafe !

[Katherine S.]

I think you've chosen an interesting discussion topic. What you have written is done very well, but there are a lot of ways you can add to what you've written to give it a little bit more of a back story. For example, you can explain how jazz music originated in African American communities beginning in the early 1910s. There's also many forms of jazz, such as ragtime, blues, swing, etc. Delving into the different forms of one genre of music can create a bigger discussion on it. The last paragraph is a little out of place though. Since you're using those two bands as an example of having meaningful songs, it would help to get your point across by giving an example of how their songs are meaningful as well as some jazz bands/songs.

Comparing and contrasting is always a good way to discuss a particular subject, you've executed that well here. You also have an excellent introduction and conclusion to this piece, they both go very well together.

And if you want to be picky on grammar mistakes, there is a space before the comma in ''which isn't a necessarily bad thing ,but''. I'd also suggest switching the sentence to ''which isn't necessarily a bad thing''. Also, ''Jazz'' is sometimes capitalized when it shouldn't be. But overall I think it's a great piece. :)

[B]

Thank you so much! xx

[Katherine S.]

You're welcome!