Living our Story

Just a small poem I wrote for my Girlfriend on her Birthday, 2008.

 

The best event of my life was meeting you

My life was always bland, I always felt blue

 

Life just got better, as we started to flirt

Drinking, and eating, the rest was a cert

 

Our passion was great, our love was unsure

My boring life, to it you’re the cure

 

We realised our love, and commited our lives

Our closeness got better, and continues to thrive

 

That is our past, we are making the future

Our story gets written, a great work of literature

 

When our story gets told, I hope it ends well

A nice happy ending, that sure would be swell.

Author's Note

Forgive some of the ryhmes, as they are cheesey as hell ;)

Reviews

[James Takeo Panton]

Pfft...cheesy shmeezy! It's open and honest and simple! Therefore, very effective and well-written!!

[Wildecat]

I think she will like this. Women love poetry. Especially if it is written about them. Good write.

[Rhonda]

I hope she liked her poem! It is very sweet.

And, yes, you're right-- some of the ryhmes are pretty damn cheesey. :)

-R

[Michael X]

overwording and weak wording, it struggles in content and craftsmanship,
other than that I found the poem itself creative and a great effort,
to open with such a cliche rhyme makes the meaning feel generic, in context
to the rest of the poem, you captured the sentimental beauty of the
romantic aspect well, over all it was a good writing, could be alot better.