Verbose vexation via vaudeville

Verbose vexation via vaudeville

A Poem by John Lauterbach
"

Just a little alliteration.

"

Belligerently burgeoning blow-back buccaneers brandishing blazing bayonets,

backed by billions in black bullion,

banking magnificent misfit monarchs,

monologing mysterious megalomaniacal mysticism - misleading!

Making money per popular poor plebeian purchase.

Poignantly privileged privateers pillaging peons!

Politically paralyzed pacifists, painted as terrorists

taking tactical tributes that tarnish their thesis -

Troublemakers! Troubadours toting tic-tac tubas and telecoms,

where Wifey’s wacky Wednesday waxes while world’s woes wane, worshiping

Wendy’s and Walt Disney while waiting for florid family functions of feasting.

© 2013 John Lauterbach



Author's Note

John Lauterbach
More angst-ridden than I usually care to be, but it was a lot of fun to write.

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TLK
I wonder why you switch from b->m->p->t->w->f. I think it would be rather effective if you spelled out a word with this alliteration, like a much more intensive acrostic (aside: is an acrostic even poetry?).

Words that seem like "yo, I am alliterating" rather than actual useful words: 'blow-back', 'tactical', 'tic-tac', 'florid'. These are all being used as adjectives, and as a short story writer I hate adjectives... so it might just be my reaction.

Best line: "backed by billions in black bullion". The internal half-rhyme is very enjoyable.

Posted 4 Years Ago


2 of 2 people found this review constructive.

John Lauterbach

4 Years Ago

When I wrote this, I started out thinking; "Holy crap, all these B words sound amazing together!" an.. read more



Reviews

A lot of fun to write, and a lot of fun to read. I enjoyed it.

Posted 4 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

[send message][befriend] Subscribe
TLK
I wonder why you switch from b->m->p->t->w->f. I think it would be rather effective if you spelled out a word with this alliteration, like a much more intensive acrostic (aside: is an acrostic even poetry?).

Words that seem like "yo, I am alliterating" rather than actual useful words: 'blow-back', 'tactical', 'tic-tac', 'florid'. These are all being used as adjectives, and as a short story writer I hate adjectives... so it might just be my reaction.

Best line: "backed by billions in black bullion". The internal half-rhyme is very enjoyable.

Posted 4 Years Ago


2 of 2 people found this review constructive.

John Lauterbach

4 Years Ago

When I wrote this, I started out thinking; "Holy crap, all these B words sound amazing together!" an.. read more
A good one sir ...:)

Posted 4 Years Ago


0 of 1 people found this review constructive.

John Lauterbach

4 Years Ago

Thanks!
Sami Khalil

4 Years Ago

My pleasure...:)
This was quite a feat! The angst is sort of buried under the playfulness of the alliteration - which was amazing! I especially like: "while world’s woes wane, worshiping Wendy’s and Walt Disney while waiting for florid family functions of feasting." This was clearly a fun challenge!

Posted 4 Years Ago


John Lauterbach

4 Years Ago

Thanks, that W part was the hardest out of the whole thing. I'm glad it's standing strong.
John.. you show off... clever but not for me.

Posted 4 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.


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284 Views
5 Reviews
Added on April 28, 2013
Last Updated on May 9, 2013
Tags: world issues, usa

Author

John Lauterbach
John Lauterbach

NY



About
I write. Sometimes I draw, too. I love harsh, valid criticism and provide the same. Workshopping between writers is a great feeling. That said, I started reading One Piece recently. All your read r.. more..

Writing