Love Lost in Time ♥

Love Lost in Time ♥

A Poem by Jen Marks
"

This is a sort of "Cascade 9" poem, where each line has one more syllable than the last. Created originally as a contest entry.

"

Love

Is lost

Lost in time

 

When I'm with you

My heart seems to melt

 

Fury breaks out in me

Only to be wiped away

By that single smile; that one look

The look that says it all: I love you

 


© 2010 Jen Marks



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Author's Note

Jen Marks
This is my result of trying a new style of poem!
I'd love for you to tell me what you think! :)

youtube.com/kneecaplollipop
myspace.com/jenmarks

♥Jen Marks

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Reviews

I looooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooove it! good job with your new style!

Posted 1 Year Ago


I quite like the style you used! It's original and it keeps interest. You've captured the emotion well, but getting even more in depth with your description will really paint a picture in your readers' minds.

Posted 7 Years Ago


0 of 1 people found this review constructive.

This is very good IMHO I love the way you don't beat around the bush here but come right out and say what you want to say and you say it clearly! Kudos

Posted 8 Years Ago


very nice..
in the beginning you describes your sadness.
then in the middle you describes your feelings.
in the end you manage to finish the poem with great two lines..

very nice..


Posted 8 Years Ago


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Bud
Wonderfully penned! I thoroughly enjoyed, and appreciate this piece of poetic excellence! Keep up the Outstanding works of art!

Posted 8 Years Ago


Interesting the way you've used it ...
Some have used this to convey movement
each line getting faster and faster
your poem reads like a monologue
where the speaker is gradually opening up
adding more to say in each line
A very interesting entry

R

Posted 8 Years Ago


It's an interesting style. Very cool. I'm going to be a little nit-picky, try to get you to think about word choice in one line:
"Love is lost in time"

Now, you have very few syllables to work with in this line, so each word has to have the maximum impact. The word I am thinking about is "in". Why did you choose "in"? What were you trying to convey with this line? Is "in", "with", "to", or some other word the most appropriate fit for what you are trying to say?
(I'm a fan of asking questions instead of making suggestions. If you are happy with "in", by all means stick with it!)

Posted 8 Years Ago


I really like this. I can relate to it. Great job. (:

Posted 8 Years Ago



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917 Views
8 Reviews
Rating
Added on October 2, 2009
Last Updated on January 7, 2010
Tags: poem, cascade, love, loss, lost, time, heart, eternal, endless, unconditional, fury, smile, i love you

Author

Jen Marks
Jen Marks

Toronto, ON, Canada



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Listen to my music here: YouTube / MySpace then one by one the stars would all go out ♥ Nicholas Jonas: You Can Call Me Crazy more..

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