All I Feel Is Sadness

Long poem. Just my thoughts. There are multiple people this is vaguely talking about.

All I feel is sadness

Mourning for the death of my child hood

I remember when everything was games

Being told, and doing what we should

Just seemed part of life

I never knew what growing up would bring

I thought it would bring freedoms and fun

I thought we’d all end up being the king

But all I feel is sadness

I see the ones around me turn from me

All these people that I’ve always known

They end up pregnant, on drugs, in juvey

My thoughts have changed

I realized at one point, somewhere along the line

I think about drinking, and cutting my wrists

Wanting him, wanting sex, wanting it to all be mine

The songs I hear inside

Used to be so nice, innocent and kind

Now I listen to screamo, words about death,

Hate and violence, messing with my mind

Tonight I cut my legs

I don’t want anyone to ever know

Of course it’s not the first time I’ve done this

in the past three years, I blame the snow

Locking me up

Inside my house, I cant stand this

Any longer, so this is my last good-bye

I wonder who would even miss

Me, I feel so helpless

In the dark, I’m stuck here in my room

Don’t get me wrong, I love my family

But I feel as lonely as the moon

Stuck out there in space

No one around, not a friend or foe

Looking down upon this dying earth

Watching its creatures sink so low

As to kill themselves

to kill each other, they drink till the cant stand

they kill their homes. Steal each others loves

they don’t care about anything not even this land

we call our home

we lie, we cheat, we steal. And for what?

To live another lie? We ruin our lives

Call each other skank, w***e, and s**t

I wonder if

The moon cries sometimes

Not because it can have no friends

But ‘cause of all our petty crimes

My room is cold

And everything has gone grey in my eyes

I guess when you really think about it

We’re merely disgusting flies

I want to be free

Of this world, this land, maybe even this life

I don’t want you to miss me, or cry I’m gone

I wont kill myself, no gun, no rope, no knife

Tonight I cried a bit

All I could think about was what he said

And all the times in the past he’s hurt me

To the point where I wished I were dead

The world use to be bright

Now it’s so full of darkness. I see what I never saw

I see the people dying, Suffering and crying

Drugs, sex, and money. Those are things I never saw

I dream about

You and only you. You have infected my mind

With your beautiful eyes, and soft dark hair

You were so strong, so brave and so kind

But all I feel is sadness

As the world changed around me

So did you, you became caught up in sex

And games. You never saw what that did to me

It just seemed part of life

For me to not feel loved, I think it still might be

Everyone’s changing and everyone’s caving

All they ever really wanted was to be free

All I feel is sadness

Mourning for the death of my child hood

I remember when everything was games

Being told to do, and doing what we should