The Dreamer

wow haha I'm actually proud of this one, please critique

The Dreamer sits atop his crystalline throne

the world his creation

An insubstantial arrangement woven from his thoughts

the pensive land all his own

 

Forests wither at his hand

mountains spring forth from barren plains

The entire construct sustained from his mind

creating and destroying, simply because he can

 

Three moons, held within a blood red sky

amicably awaiting his cleansing judgment

They, like all things, will be erased

they, like everything, will surely die

 

Except for The Dreamer, immortal

his eternal influence upon the landscape

Thoughts shifting the fragile balance of life

The Dreamer outlasts, outlives all

 

But his wishes unfulfilled, never to be satisfied

his thirst for death's sweet Poison unquenched

his everlasting consciousness cannot be severed

and in this Dream's suffocating shadow, forever he'll hide

 

No release from his perfect constraints, he chose his path

a life sentence for he whose life will never end

escape is unattainable, and rightly so

The Dreamer lies in wait, forever, within his own beloved wrath

 

Reviews

[SilentVerses]

Perfect opening line such beauty within the lines, they hold a power as they represent the growth of words that lie at your feet, with them you create a landscape of beauty that you can tame and control with a wild hand thorns of worship can grow on the words you place forth, though our bodies may whither the writing we place upon the earth will forever be imprinted upon those who read, we carry them within us allowing them to fill our emptiness until words spill from our thoughts. Conscious choosing created a perfect twist of elegance in the writing emotions dance within each others grasp and as they turn and jump they change but forever joining them is the understanding sorrow of life. Wonderfully fluid.

[Stormy Weather]

This is lovely. =} "The Dreamer lies in wait, forever, within his own beloved wrath." Love that line. Amazing.

[Inyourshadow]

three perfect moons ~ I love Clash of the Titans lol.
They say I'm a dreamer but I'm not the only one ~ John Lennon.
Love mythology and fantasy and this poem fits the bill perfectly, wonderful imagery and flow, love how everything is at his whim, also the use of Death's shadow or' shadowing his life. This has beautifully dark undertones, keep em' coming

Satin for the eyes.
Great diction.

You write like a seasoned pro.
The stuff of dreams and things. Lovely. More.

[Paradoxical]

Wow... I love the flow and word choice of this, it really makes it.. Fantastic! I can't even begin to describe how much I love this! Awesome job Jowee :)

[Poetic Beauty]

I like the mythical fantasy feel to this poem but it is filled with deep thoughts through out that we could use in real life if you take a moment to really look and read the words.

[ShaneBerry]

i absolutely loved the subtlety of the rhyme scheme, its rolled off the tongue quite well. this remindes me of the villian from my book "Element Z" someone cursed by immortality and godly powers. a very deep and thought provoking write!!!

[Akshat♥]

last line is awesome.."The Dreamer lies in wait, forever, within his own beloved wrath"
i really liked this poem..explains so much..i am also a Dreamer..
i always dream big..so that i may get something or a part of that big dream..
thanks for sharing this lovely poem of yours:)

[Coyote Poetry]

I was born with the great dreamers. Martin Luther King, the Kennedy brother's and so many more tries to change the world to a better place. I went to concerts where I saw Joan Baez and the many singers with the desire of peace strong in their voice. I could see the Dreamer looking down on this planet listening to Edwin Starr. "War, what is good for?" I like the story in this poem. Allow my imagination to wander to some good places.
"The Dreamer lies in wait, forever, within his own beloved wrath"
A outstanding poem.
Coyote