Psychotically Yours

Do you see her

Just lying there?

Do you see the blood

In her once blonde hair?

 

Can you believe

That you once loved that face?

Oh, the horror,

Such a disgrace.

 

Her body, mutilated and broken

Way beyond repair,

Lies there wrapped in bloody sheets.

Damn, why did you have to care?

 

This would never have happened

If you had chosen me.

I couldn’t stand watching you love her,

Can you not see?

 

I hated her pretty little face,

That perfect white smile!

I hated everything about her,

Her damn legs that went on for miles!

 

So I crushed in that face

With a swing from my bat.

Oh she screamed –

She didn’t like that!

 

Then I stabbed her chest

Around fifty times, maybe more.

Then I stabbed another time,

Just to settle the score.

 

Watching her blood

Seep deep into the sheets,

I knew this b***h

Had come to her defeat.

 

Looking at the woman

You once called “the one”,

I stuck my hand in my pocket

And pulled out my gun.

 

I blew out

What was left of her brains.

Oh the beauty

As your walls it stained.

 

Before I left

I wrote a little note on the door:

I signed off my artwork

“Psychotically Yours”.

 

Copyright©JosieWentzel18August 2008

 

Reviews

[~angelalala~]

this poem is darkly beautiful. & intrigueing. you've formed into words the perfect example of the deep hatred, jealousy, bitterness that females, at times, secretly harbor for other females (or rivals in our warped minds). the flow is a bit choppy, you could probably make it smoother by subtracting a few words here & there.
Perhaps instead of "Then I stabbed her chest, around fifty times maybe more then stabbed her again, just to settle the score.." could be shortened to "I stabbed her chest, fifty times maybe more. then stabbed her again just to settle the score.". a bit smoother, but the choppiness does add to the charm.
overall i enjoyed it. & the title & ending are brilliant.

[nocturnalbeast]

That is some powerful ISH!!!.
OMMMMAGOD!.
That was really good.!!!
>>>So dark...but beautiful.
Love is blind and can make u do some crazy stuff....!!!

[A Forsaken Dream]

This poem brings a new meaning of gore for me
"I blew out

What was left of her brains.

Oh the beauty

As your walls it stained."

Beautiful Imagery =]. It's kinda like you were so mad that was your way of retaliating against both people.

Bottom Line I LOVE IT!

-James

[KUFU]

D A M N !
Now that's love. (Reminds me of an old girlfriend) The namesake of the poem is quite apropos. You take us into the dark recesses of your antagonist's mind. Scary s**t. You wrote:

"Can you believe
That you once loved that face?
Oh, the horror,
Such a disgrace."

...damn, that's just bent. You really went into the demented with that verse. I like the way you weave the antagonist's feelings of being rightfully justified for her actions throughout the poem. A nice little psychological thrill ride! Psychotically Yours? Indeed.

[Michael X]

This wold work much better as a story, in content and wording,
I would revise the form to such, other than that, its pretty dramatic and gory.
could be darker, could have more depth and detail. it was good.