I wish if there was a new start...

I want to take a flight,
Back again in those moonily nights
But the things are not same as before,
Deadly pain is now galore

I dreamt so big,
I lived so high
Now it's all gone,
And gloominess is nigh

I have a fear in my mind
Of losing everything in the kind
I never thought of such heartily pains,
These bound me in the terrific chains

Life now usually makes me cry,
Even this has something good in it
It never let my eyes to dry
Felicity to me is precisely shy

I can feel it in the heart,
It's pricking my soul with the tart
'It' here is the emptiness
Everything to me is now odorless

Each step's so tragic,
My heart just wants some magic
Living now proves to be depressive
Blitheness needed, oh so massive!

Dark nights and the early skies,
Make the world so paralyzed
So much of silence in the heart,
I wish if there was a new start...!

Reviews

[venika]

nic poem.......... looking for ur next poem

[Kunal Upreja]

Thank you venika :D

[Stefano Segnan]

You employed rhyme but left out most of the punctuation, personally, I do not think that works. If you write free verse with a dose of stream of consciousness and you want to achieve a natural flow (hence the lack of punctuation) you don't use rhyme. What is more, the last stanza has a complete punctuation! Why the others stanza do not have them?

Check the second verse of the third stanza. "Of losing everything in the kind" - in the kind of what? Perhaps you meant "of the kind" or "in that kind", as it is, it's a little confusing.

Technicalities aside, the message is neat and its evolution is all right.

[Kunal Upreja]

Yeah I agree, there is lack of punctuation.. I will keep all your words in my mind and next time, I will take care of that. Thank you so much for reviewing the poem :)

[Cyndy Robinson]

I have been here more times than I want to. There is always a new start, just how long is it going to take? lol. Critique: "Back again in those moonily nights" did you mean moonlit? Or is moonily a new word you are creating?

[Kunal Upreja]

Thank you for reviewing my poem :) and moonily is already a word which means dreamily or in a dreamy mamner.

[Cyndy Robinson]

Ah well my ignorance is showing. Never heard of it. I sometimes create words in poetry. Well done

[Kunal Upreja]

Yeah, Thanks once again :)

[Peyton Light]

There are a few times where better wordage could've been used, but overall this is pretty good.

[Kunal Upreja]

I will keep it in my mind next time. Thank you :)