Teach

This is an ongoing work in progress. I'm really just posting this to show Vivian.

Teach

Each of us, inside ourselves, has this unending connection of seemingly grandiose events. If we can separate them from ourselves, we will see that their grandiosity is only an illusion. The fact of the matter is, the universe doesn’t give a damn about you. Humbling and depressing as it may be, none of us are even so much as a blip on the universal radar. Nonetheless, I have decided I would like to share with you the connection of events that have consumed and created my soul. I’m not sharing because I feel like my life has been so much more meaningful and grand that I think you all want to hear about it. No, in fact, it’s almost the opposite.

My life was cut from the same boiler-plate mold as the rest of you. I have had tumult and turmoil, trial and tribulation, forlornness, wretchedness, and despair. Who hasn’t? I have experienced moments of pure bliss, enchantment and exhilaration. I have had jubilation and joy, unadulterated euphoria. I have also had my fair share of moments that just… were. Moments when nothing was great, but nothing was terrible. And when you add them all up, just like everyone else, my life has been astonishingly average.

In fact, the only reason I feel the need to write it down is that I think I could teach people something. I think that there are lessons to be learned in the commonplace events in everyday life. Not to harp on any religious text, but my opinion is that they make it too complicated. Life is incredibly unexceptional, and poetic parable just muddles the message for everyone. While my stories are mine and mine my own, they can be reduced to same mediocrity as yours. In the end, we all learn the same lessons. And in the end, all these roads lead us home.

I guess this is the part where we jump right in.

 

Lesson 1: Life Goes On

As with any flashbulb memory, I remember it like it was yesterday. I think about it every day and it will haunt me to my last thought. What should I have done differently?

Some nights I stay up, obsessively replaying it in my mind. I’ll revisit it, over and over and over again, like a mad man trying to solve a puzzle with only half the pieces. I mostly understand that there is no solution. I mostly understand that I’ll never have all the pieces. In the words of a man I once loved, “Sometimes closure is a luxury that will never be extended.”

I’m sure by now you’re wondering what it was. Put simply, it was the hardest moment of my life. It was just as hard as whatever moment has been the hardest for you and the details are rather irrelevant. It was the moment that defined the capacity of my resiliency.

But not without dragging me down first.

Understatement, I reacted very poorly. I acted as if life was personally attacking me. I wrongly accused others of stealing my happiness. I lost friends and I lost myself.  

People always drop some bullshit about, “You can control how you react.” And to that I say, “No, sometimes we can’t.”  

Sometimes, without thinking, we react poorly. Sometimes, through no fault of our own, we are simply unprepared.

There are moments when life is just too fucked up to see it coming. And when it gets fucked up like that, you’re allowed to have that moment where you can’t do anything but f**k it up even worse. It’s honestly the natural reaction, because no one is equipped to handle the problems forced on them by modern life.

But don’t live in those reactions; live in the moments after. Live in the moments when, even when you didn’t think it could, life goes on.

Reviews

[mister_abp]

There are very few ppl one would say have thier s**t together, pardon my language.... but to read what I just did and find comfort in knowing that out there in the multi-verser of life there is a soul who see life as it is and finds the strength to decide to move on..... you spoke my soul... and for that I thank you... you left room to insert my own life in ur attempt to share the details... by the way only in your mind is the conversation ever really played out....
Once in my life I felt a grain of sand between my fingers and prayed I could make this much impact in a life as that grain of sand felt between my fingers....
I digress... awesome piece. Pls do find the time to continue...

P.s
I'm looking for someone to write book with... I'm a lazy writer and ideas come to me at odds times and can only write in the middle of the night.