Haiku

for a contest..

my window

through the spiderwebs

I see life

Reviews

[Chris]

The blackbird whispered.
The swallow paused - the worm ducked...
The younglings suffered.

We wander our paths alone
while the voices touch our lives.

Chris

[Umar Hassan]

I appreciate that you have maintained the haiku's ruminative attention to natural phenomena. This is at the heart of the form. The variant syllable count is also laudable. As you obviously know, the haiku provides freedom through discipline.

Well done.

[Ms. Gruye]

What I like in this piece is an underlying tone of irony that I am not sure if you meant to convey. However to me, spiderwebs are life. I mean a tiny little organism used its body to create silk, then spent a better part of an afternoon making something intricate. Your narrator just looks beyond it to something else. See what complex thoughts you wove with just three lines! Well done

[Kiari Sabon]

not bad

[astoundinglyattractive]

4-5-3
its not a haiku, but still, it is good(:

[NoneOfYourBusiness akaK..]

what a crytalline view!~ =)~

[Ruth]

So fabulous!
The web of life....woven and everything in its place...LOVE this!
xx

[Kerry O'Connor]

I do love to see a spiderweb up close.

[Dinesh Sairam]

Loved it! That's how I like haikus, in the simplest language and imagery possible. Keep writing.