Upon thier Request

Upon thier Request

A Poem by "Fanatical Dreamer"

He knows when she meant to kiss him.

When her tongue wraps around his like a tango dance.

Moving inside his mouth in full motion,

taking the lead with aggression and expression.

Simultaneously locking his lips gently in her mouth,

leaving no room for him to escape.

She knows when he meant to kiss her.

When his lips cuddles against hers softly,

as he swirls his tongue, through and around

her appealing vocal with grace. 

He knows when she enjoys making love to him.

When her voice screams out his name,

griping him close to her bosom, while he breathes heavily,

uttering “I love you” a thousand times and a millions times again.

She knows when he enjoys making love to her.

When his hands, lips and precious organ,

work together as it climbs her highest mountain,

glides through her mother nature, until her heaven rains.

They can tell when they adore talking to each other.

When their conversation proves that time has no end.

When laughter becomes their melody,

and their blissful moment becomes their future memory.

But sometimes they wished their pleasures

Weren't something that they would measure.

But something they would share together.

In this way, their hearts wouldn't be

this close but yet so far away.       

                                                     

 

     

                                                     

 

 

                

© 2017 "Fanatical Dreamer"



Author's Note

 "Fanatical Dreamer"
I wrote these two poems side by side, after a reviewer mentioned joining it together I decided to give it a try. Which I think gave it a little more meaning

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Reviews

I think it turned out fantastic. Great job. The ending brought all of this together in such a different way than I expected. Nicely done my friend.

Posted 5 Years Ago


 "Fanatical Dreamer"

5 Years Ago

Thank you!
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DJ
LOVE IT! It reminds me so much again of my beautiful partner. Your writing really touches my heart and leaves a lasting imprint there because of the reminders you have within them.

"She can tell when he adores talking to her.
When he captures her true laughter,
reflects on her tragic stories, whilst giving his
reaction, without judging her secret place."

I love this stanza, i love it when I get true laughter out of my partner. This piece is simply a beautiful portrayal of love, of life and of two souls connected.

Posted 5 Years Ago


DJ

5 Years Ago

Yes I am and hopefully it stays that way, though I do not see my love fading. Ah yes I noticed the e.. read more
 "Fanatical Dreamer"

5 Years Ago

Yes I think the poem could have both meanings. "Measure" meaning calculating what is required of eac.. read more
DJ

5 Years Ago

Ah yes, now I understand. Very good advice, thank you :) Everyone is learning and that's okay, we ar.. read more
I noticed in the first stanza... that the lines are longer than the rest... and the momentum from there shifts... I do... now.. understand at the ending you merged them together... there is a balance of 14 lines and 12 lines from "knows" to "can"... I would challenge you to set the pace at 12 or 14 lines and then have the last stanza do the same... you will see after you counter that... the lines will be more flowing and add the pieces together... The concept is done nicely... and I will agree the write has more meaning... by including both thought processes... with the "he and "she"... and the body of this speaks out... But you may do what you please... this is just an opinionated statement... if you believe this is done... then it's done...

Posted 5 Years Ago


 "Fanatical Dreamer"

5 Years Ago

Thank you for your suggestion,I'll probably give it some thought
This is really good. The last stanza applies to me n my partner but in a different way (he is undergoing cancer treatment in another country and i get to see him only once in awhile.) So it applies to the distance that keeps our hearts far away, yet still close with the memories, which we have to measure to remind us that our love is worth the distance and tests. Thank you for the great write. The words you used paint a beautiful picture, and the flow is well paced and fits the imagery used. Really reminds me of my partner and I. Well done!

Posted 5 Years Ago


 "Fanatical Dreamer"

5 Years Ago

Thank you for your time I guess you just gave this poem another meaning, I think it could actually h.. read more
Hana Saemon

5 Years Ago

that is really sweet...really appreciate it. thank you very much :)
Nicely sensuous and yes sharing and trusting is part of bonding...and i liked the last stanza...
as you can't measure love...so true...Rose:)

Posted 5 Years Ago


 "Fanatical Dreamer"

5 Years Ago

Thank you Rose for reading and commenting

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Added on August 22, 2013
Last Updated on July 8, 2017


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