never sleep

i hate my life

but i love the outcome

what a conundrum

of hatred

and self loathing

of self love

and disgust

what a fun game
of remembering

and forgetting

that i love myself now

but i hate how i got here

it makes the sun

shine so much brighter

and the night

feel so much colder

Author's Note

Reviews

[H L Rose]

I love a paradox.

I think perhaps “so” in last two lines could be taken out because it doesn’t seem very necessary. I wonder if even “much” is necessary, but either way the last 4 lines are my favorite. The title is a cool addition to the ending thought.

The poem as whole leaves the reader with a lot to think about.
Definitely a pleasure to read and I dig the song.

[Davidgeo]

Radiohead is a criminally underrated band.

I'm glad you liked this.

You're right about the technical stuff, I'm just too lazy to fix it.

(anyway, you're not that much different than me)

[Davidgeo]

. . . . . ;)

[H L Rose]

You're very right. I'm quite lazy.

[Lanny]

Such a masterpiece of juxtaposition! I truly enjoyed the sharp contrasts in your exploration of your topic until you get to your emotional, juxtaposed conclusion, "it makes the sun shine so much brighter and the night feel so much colder." I really enjoyed this read.

All the best,

Lanny

[Chris Shaw]

No pain no gain. It has been along journey but I think you haven't quite arrived yet. It is good that the sun shines brighter. It would be better still if the nights weren't so cold. Good morning from across the pond

Chris

[Davidgeo]

'No pain no gain' is one of those universal truths no one can escape from. I've been a writing a little melodramatically today... but still honestly. I still really don't like to sleep that much.

It's always a pleasure to see your comments Chris, happy holidays and such.

[Chris Shaw]

I like the honesty in your lines. I don't sleep well either, but I sleep enough to function. It must be late, very late for you. Hope you get the sleep you need.

[Davidgeo]

Late can be early (it's 3 am). I don't work a normal job though, so don't fret. I always get my rest eventually.

[Chris Shaw]

That's the important bit, that you do eventually get the rest you need. Wishing you peaceful slumbers when you do find the land of nod :)

[Davidgeo]

I retired too early. To be honest, I really don't know how to properly structure my days/nights. Got any tips? I'm too young and stupid for this s**t.

[Chris Shaw]

It's about structure and routine. You need routine I find, or at least I need it. Some people aren't cut out for that way of life. I like orderly and not chaos. I like to get things done by certain times. I like to eat at more or less the same time every day. Some would find that boring. It would drive them bonkers. Do what you feel comfortable with. Some people function better at night and sleep by day. It's all OK.

[Davidgeo]

Most people think military life is a strict routine, and they'd be right most of the time. That's how we train and day to day that's everything - do your job... unless you're deployed in a combat capacity (I picked the wrong time to be a certain kind of soldier). Then your schedule is chaotic for 9-15 months at a time and then back to strict structure for 9-ish months and then back to the chaos again... and repeat. I learned the rhythm of both but honestly preferred the chaos. Now that it's over, I'm quite frankly just confused. I'm not physically broken or anything like that but I'm not exactly young and I don't need to work for money so... I'm just kinda, here, on the earth... for no particular reason these days. I love it but at the same time, I feel useless.

[Chris Shaw]

It's not the lack of routine and living in chaos which is the problem. Everyone needs a sense of purpose in my opinion. I worked full time for 40years and now I am at home with my husband, three adult grandchildren, plus one. I am busier now than I have ever been, and my job now is to keep my household functioning a nd to be supportive. My 20year old grandson told me the other day, I was the backbone of the family, the glue which kept everything together. I liked that. That is my sense of purpose. If I didn't have family I would be doing voluntary work.

[Davidgeo]

My friend, you have an awesome life and it sounds like you deserve every second of it. If they could sell you, you'd be the most expensive glue ; )

[Chris Shaw]

Ha ha. I like that!

[Davidgeo]

This is a good sign... I've been working on my winking emoji game lately.

[Davidgeo]

(and I only pretend to know what expensive glue sells for)

[Gee]

£10 a litre, sticks like poo to a banket, get it on your skin and folk think you have contracted leprosy. Also makes the hairs in your ears stand to attention and gives a right good stagger if to much inhaled....D4 by caberdeck....
Good afternoon people

[Davidgeo]

There's no possible way that you weren't at one point time a drug addict of one sort or another gee.

And good morning to you my friend.

[Gee]

Lol, I'm as silly as arseholes without taking drugs :))
Hope you are well and your latest pic doesn't result in a basket full of dirty knickers heading your way...I've just wolf whistled to finish of the drivel just written :))))

[Davidgeo]

Ha... gee, you really are a creep. But in a beautiful way.