sitting

sitting on this cold frail bench

pondering

the deep creaky thoughts

wandering

through out the woods

running

away from my fears

so stunning

your voice that i heard

haunting

my memories of the us we had

taunting 

me away from the reality i live in

painfully

choking back the silent tears 

mistakingly

holding back my words 

sorrowfully 

Author's Note

ok so uhm yeah i need some truthful reviews on this i dont know what i was exactly thinking well maybe i do but idk you tell me what you all got from this

Reviews

[Jasmarine]

DEEP, like a cut from a KNIFE. Gives me the willies just thinking about it. SO...what I got out of it; obviously a relationship that has just ended, the girl feeling guilt about what happened doubting herself and her feelings and everything about the boy she opened herself up too. She wants to erase the past, not feel the pain from having her heart broken, having been betrayed by who she thought loved her and cared for her. Feeling that it was all just a game for him, someone she had felt a deep yearning for and the memories of the times they had, pricking her conscience with a pin. A pain that stings but can't be found. It's almost like she's trapped within her own mind, replaying the whole relationship and finding no relief of it. God, makes me reflect on...things. Love this piece, it's going in my library :)

[Doreen]

Descriptive and sad. Pondering can be a lonely and painful experience. This brings out those emotions. Nice job.

[.]

SIMPLY AMAZING!!! I liked this write alot, thought it was brillantly set up and flowed nicely!

[deeps]

I like this it's deep and so well expressed.
Love the flow and rhyme scheme.
Well written!

[Aven]

Truly amazing. It feels as if the person in the poem is at a crossroads, that she has just come out of a bad relationship and has to confront her feelings of loneliness.

[Mark]

This format is really great. I like the rhyming of the alternating one word lines.