Summertime Waltz

lyrics to a song i wrote

 

 

A few weeks back, I took a bride

in the early part of June.

And now I'm waltzing by her side

beneath the Summertime moon.

 

There's nothing like a Summertime waltz,

the flowery scent of the air,

the soft glow of the lantern light,

and moonlight touching her hair.

 

Well, my wife and I kept waltzing

all through our married years.

We've lived a life of happiness,

many laughs, and a few tears.

 

But now we're old, and not so strong,

we can't two-step any more.

So we just hold each other close

and stand swaying on the floor.

 

 

There's nothing like a Summertime waltz,

the flowery scent of the air.

The soft glow of the lantern light

and moonlight touching her hair.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Reviews

[gloomysundays]

This really made me smile. It was beautiful. The romance in this piece is so pure and perfect. I enjoyed reading this so much.

I must point out that in some stanzas like in the third of the first verse or the third in the fifth verse you don't capitalize the first word although you're starting a new sentence. You also end every line with a punctuation mark which is unnecessary.

Other than the technicalities of a few grammar mistakes, this poem was beautiful.

Cheers.
100/100

[mandy]

thank you..you are correct....it's a habit i have when typing not to use caps. i must try to remedy that in my writings. thanks for reading.

[mandy]

fixed it, i think

[gloomysundays]

Yes, everything is perfect.

Cheers.
100/100

[Ose Mountain]

Well done.... A picture of two happy life as one.

[Circe]

the romance simmers beautifully, joyfully in this piece, who wouldn't want to dance to this song, a lovingly crafted gem.

[mandy]

thank you, circe

[J. Viands]

Wonderful made me smile

[Andrew N. Farrens]

I like this a lot but when I began it, I really thought it would be longer and more developed. I'm not saying you did wrong but it feels incomplete.
ANF

[mandy]

thank you, andrew. i thought i took them through marriage, through their lives and to old age, still with an enduring love. but i guess i could have fleshed it out a little more nand added more verses in the middle of the marriage. i just lumped that all up in the 3rd verse. you are right. i may add to it sometime or just apply that knowledge to future writings. thanks for your review.

[mandy]

on the other hand, after thinking about it, i think it is about the right length for song lyrics, and that is what i intended it to be. one verse, then the chorus, two verses, and repeat the chorus.

[An owl on the moon]

What a beautiful, loving glimpse of two lives blended into one! Saw the title and just had to read it... been so cold here. Was just perfect!

[mandy]

thank u so much craig.

[TheLastEclipse]

Very deeply written. It is not my favorite but I still like it.

[mandy]

thank you, curiosity makes me ask,,,which one is your favorite? i'm guessing it is,,,THE OLD COOKIE JAR. am i right?

[TheLastEclipse]

Lol yes indeed

[Enid Blake]

I like how you compare everlasting love to a dance.

[mandy]

thank you, enid

[mandy]

lol,,i hadn't thought of that,,in context with,,,can't two step anymore,,,,lol..no sex?

[Enid Blake]

Sorry, I obviously missed that subtlety lol! I read it more as reflecting the dance of a life shared, right to the end. I thought that penultimate verse described the impending death and then the last verse captured the memories of the singular left behind. Isn't it great how someone's writing can inspire many different interpretations?
EB :)

[mandy]

it sure is,,,i am always afraid that in my reviews, i get it wrong!! lol. actually, there is no "wrong" it is how you are affected by it, so it is "right" for every individual.

[Claire Twinn]

I love your idea of love being an enduring thing. This poem has a nice rhythm like the waltz.

[mandy]

thanks claire. it is a song, my husband kept running the strings, playing the same chord progression on his guitar,,,i told him,,i love that tune, you should write a song for it! lol...of course he said, "you do it" so i did.

[Mark]

very nicely written, tender and sweet. A love of a lifetime! :)

[mandy]

i visualized it in a long ago setting, when balls were held, and decorations included using outdoor lanterns,,,thanks mark.