Here's to you *

you said red was your favorite color,

so here's to you.

i'm getting myself back

for all the hell you said i put you through

even though i'm the one crying

and you're the one who thinks you

should feel all of the doubt

i ask you, what did i do

what i did wrong, i don't have a clue

why i still love you, lord i wish i knew

you said red was your favorite color,

                                  so here....

                                here's to you.

 

Reviews

[Kara Emily Krantz]

this is really a great piece. i love the length of it. and the flow is really great.

"you said red was your favorite color,
so here's to you."

That is fantastic. The reader has it 'implied' them what you are doing (cutting, what not) but it's not blatantly said, which is really.. classy. :)

The rhyme scheme is really great through the beginning.

"and you're the one out
you said you're the one who should be feeling all the doubt"

that last line there is a little too long- perhaps find a way to say what you're saying in a shorter way...
perhaps "you think you're the one with all the doubt"

then i was thinking with the last line, maybe switch it up a little? like:

"you said red was your favorite color,
so here...
here's to you."

almost like you're presenting it to him, y'know? and it makes the end a little more bittersweet, a little sadder.


but yes. i totally LOVE this poem.

[An owl on the moon]

Such a brief and bitter expression of the end of love. You have written a poignant note, framed by the color red suggesting the color of love as well as the color of blood. Amazing!

[Siddartha Beth Pierce]

Oh the breakups...so messy and difficult. Well expressed in so few lines. Quite poignant. Thank you for sharing.
Light,
Siddartha