lake Michigan (track 1)

lake Michigan (track 1)

A Poem by mercy party
"

https://soundcloud.com/user-318968342/lake-michigan

"


its gonna be hard for you to steal my love again
when you're sinking to the bottom of lake Michigan
you should have just stuck to the streets 
but instead you stole from me
and the price for that is simple
hence the bricks tied to your feet.

you're an empty hallmark, sentimental, cliche, quote deep message
and i see through the bullshit and your entitlement of preference
go ahead and call it good clean fun
to do what should not be done

the wrath of god is being revealed from heaven
and this one bar town is going to burn like Dresden.

looks like she was turned over to a depraved mind
and i couldn't stand a chance, she's no longer mine
it would take a miracle
you should never dig a hole that you cant get out of clean
last night it was the wrong night or was it the right night and just the wrong person?
anyway you look at it we are in need of some dispersin' .

envy,strife, deceit and malice
ever since you scaled my palace walls
and i just cant wait until i finally get to see you fall 
once and for all. 



© 2017 mercy party



Author's Note

mercy party
https://soundcloud.com/user-318968342/lake-michigan

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Featured Review

you're an empty hallmark, sentimental, cliche, quote deep message
and i see through the bullshit and your entitlement of preference

Really felt like this cut through the heart of that person.

So many superficial hallmark hipsters with all style and little substance, or the little substance that is there is programmed to be lured by the typical or twisted.

Nice angry piece.

I think we've all been there, rich, poor, cool, or loser...

I also like the allusion to Dresden for some reason. It captures the utter annihilation



Posted 10 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

mercy party

10 Months Ago

Thank you! man you nailed it! Thanks for doing me justice with such a fired up review. the empty hal.. read more



Reviews

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Sky
Nice one Sometimes when people hurt us it's nice to ignore them & move forward in life. After all what is mine would be mine. Nice Poem MB :)

Posted 10 Months Ago


mercy party

10 Months Ago

Damn geography always gets in the way of ignoring. Its like being chased by a mile-marker sign. Than.. read more
wow, that was pretty harsh but I understand the feeling. almost reminds me of a wilco song. i think it's called Chicago. You should check it out.
here's a sample:

"I dreamed about killing you again last night
And it felt alright to me
Dying on the banks of Embarcadero skies
I sat and watched you bleed
Buried you alive in a fireworks display
Raining down on me
Your cold, hot blood ran away from me
To the sea"

Sometimes when people hurt us it's nice to daydream about hurting them back.

Posted 10 Months Ago


mercy party

10 Months Ago

thank you for that and the recommendation on the most perfect sick song! I cant wait to share with y.. read more
Closed

10 Months Ago

will i get to hear it?
mercy party

10 Months Ago

yes, for sure.
Ironic first post for the name Mr. Mercy. This is good, as proof that it's got 66 views and in a library after just one day.

I like the choice to ignore capitalization/punctuation. It makes the poem feel more raw, primal. This feller is succumbing to his basic instincts and that is what this poem conveys.
'heaven' and 'Dresden' was a clever rhyme. If I were to recommend a tweak it would be with just a single word. 'sentimental' doesn't seem like the right way to describe a hound-dogging playboy; but then I might be misinterpreting it.

Welcome to the café; keep up the good work!

Posted 10 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

mercy party

10 Months Ago

Hey thanks for all that! if i were to explain who the hound dog antagonist is, it would throw you fo.. read more
Powerful use of thoughts and emotions.
"envy,strife, deceit and malice
ever since you scaled my palace walls
and i just cant wait until i finally get to see you fall
once and for all. "
The above lines. Hard, cold and direct. Thank you for sharing the excellent poetry.
Coyote


Posted 11 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

mercy party

11 Months Ago

Thanks for your review! the story does not end at the bottom of a lake...stay tuned and again thanks.. read more
Coyote Poetry

10 Months Ago

You are welcome and I look forward to reading more.
While rather dark, the imagery and callousness are both humorous and engaging. Fine work.

Posted 11 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

mercy party

11 Months Ago

thank you!

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994 Views
26 Reviews
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Shelved in 1 Library
Added on January 16, 2017
Last Updated on October 30, 2017

Author

mercy party
mercy party

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