Misplacement

I misplace keys, phones, myself... Alternative version at top, original following in read print

Alternative version:

“Excuse me, miss” a middle aged woman calls out waving her hand in my face and quickly follows up by sticking her head in there too. I sit still, remain calm in posture and meet her eyes in a slightly delayed and sort of flustered manner. “Yes, can I help you?”, I hear myself respond. I am not really interested, though I want to be. I am just not. I can hear her talking, she seems quite upset about something. I squint my eyes as if to enhance my ability to hear what she is saying. That seems rather stupid. Hm, AHA! I am squinting... zooming in on her mouth, perhaps to read her lips, as I don’t seem to be able to tune in on what is coming out of her. So I can conclude that my brain is still running, though a tad slow for my liking. Okay, she is still talking, and she does not seem to have noticed that I am not really there with her. I keep on nodding as if listening and taking in her words of wisdom - whilst I wonder where I have put the bit of my brain that is suppose to make the sounds coming out her mouth a recognizable and coherent pattern of information? Where did I put it this time? Maybe in the fridge with my keys?! Ah, that’s where my keys are! Okay, so one mystery is out of the way. Now it is just a matter of locating the part of my brain that chose not to attend today. Well, I probably left it at home in bed... or maybe I lost it in the coffee shop on the way.

 

Suddenly it occurs to me that I don’t work here. Well, of course I don’t! However, this lady seems to think that I do... or maybe she is one of them 'crazy' people talking to random people about really personal stuff? It would be really helpful if I understood what was coming out of her mouth. Fidgety I try to maintain focus. Well, focus on how to focus. Wow, my body is really itchy... It is an itch deeper than the surface of the skin. Wish I could pull myself out of my skin and itch the f**k out of whatever it is. I hear myself take a deep breath. The sounds are loud. The footsteps vibrate through my body like a bass; waves of scattered chatter impose themselves on me from all directions. My thoughts find the beat, try to gain control. The woman draws nearer, though. Demanding my attention, a high pitch soprano slightly off key floods my face in an ill timed duet -  with no regard for the already dissonant symphony chiming in the background of my thoughts �" she chimes in offbeat. As if an attempt to drown all competition, she goes for solo with unbearable discord. I like music. This bit is a tad beyond dissonant, though! She is offbeat - as are some of the footsteps. Wow! This is Stravinsky gone wrong - I wonder how I can make this situation less uncomfortable? I can’t concentrate; separating speech from general noise is quite a task. Filtering the sounds of speech into smaller units seems a rather ambitious endeavour at this particular moment. I could just get up and walk her to the information desk, but I sense that a disruption would be as ill timed as the woman’s beat. If she is one of those lonely people who just want to talks of inappropriately personal stuff and she realises that I have not heard a thing... Ah, I can’t do that! I am such an a*s hole! Try to tune in on just a few of the words and then see if you can make out a likely context, an idea of what’s going on. Instinctively I lean forward. My eyes widen; my mouth slightly open. Trying to mimic the movement of her mouth - I suppose in a desperate attempt to taste the words and see if I recognize the flavour... Yeah, that’s just not going to work. Now she is looking at me funny. Stop, stop, stop! I am not stopping, it seems... Okay, now I stopped. I should probably close my mouth too. There you go, much better.

 

          *** 

“What are you doing?” I slowly withdraw my slumber like motion, “Sorry, what?” My new flat mate looks at me curiously. I realise my hand is stretched out holding an orange in the palm of my hands, “I don’t know!” I place my forehead in the palm of the other hand, “I was about to do something, don’t know...” I pull my arms back into my body, the orange palmed between my hands as if a rare item on display. I turn on my heel and work into my room with my back ridiculously straight to maintain an illusion of dignity... Oh, I was going to cut the orange! 

Original:

“Excuse me, miss” a middle aged woman repeats waving her hand in my face and quickly follows up by sticking her head in there too. I sit still, remain calm in posture and meet her eyes in a flustered sort of way. “Yes, can I help you?”, I am not really interested, though I want to be. I am just not. I can hear her talking, she seems quite upset about something. I squint my eyes as if to enhance my ability to hear what she is saying. That seems rather stupid. Hm, AHA! I am squinting... zooming in on her mouth, perhaps to read her lips, as I don’t seem to be able to tune in on what is coming out of her. So I can conclude that my brain is still running, though a tad slow for my liking. Okay, she is still talking, and she does not seem to have noticed that I am not really there with her. I keep on nodding as if listening and taking in her words of wisdom - whilst I wonder where I have put the bit of my brain that is suppose to make the sounds coming out her mouth a recognizable and coherent pattern of information? Where did I put it this time? Maybe in the fridge with my keys?! Ah, that’s where my keys are! Okay, so one mystery is out of the way. Now it is just a matter of locating the part of my brain that chose not to attend today. Well, I probably left it at home in bed... or maybe I lost it in the coffee shop on the way.

Suddenly it occurs to me that I don’t work here. Well, of course I don’t! However, this lady seems to think that I do... or maybe she is one of them 'crazy' people talking to random people about really personal stuff? It would be really helpful if I understood what was coming out of her mouth. Fidgety I try to maintain focus. Well, focus on how to focus. Wow, my body is really itchy... It is an itch deeper than the surface of the skin. Wish I could pull myself out of my skin and itch the f**k out of whatever it is. I hear myself take a deep breath. The footsteps vibrate like a bass in my ears, scattered chatter join in and the woman’s high pitch voice the soprano to back me up. I like music. Though this bit is a bit beyond dissonant! I can’t concentrate. Wow, this is Stravinsky gone wrong - I wonder how I can make this situation less uncomfortable? I could just get up and walk her to the information desk. Oh, but if she is one of those lonely people who just want to talk and she realises that I have not heard a thing... Ah, I can’t do that! I am such an a*s hole! Try to tune in on  just a few of the words and then see if you can make out a likely context, an idea of what’s going on. Instinctively I lean forward. My eyes widen, my mouth slightly open. Trying to mimic the movement of her mouth - I suppose in a desperate attempt to taste the words and see if I recognize the flavour... Yeah, that’s just not going to work. Now she is looking at me funny. Stop, stop, stop! I am not stopping, it seems... Okay, now I stopped. I should probably close my mouth too. There you go, much better.

*** 

“What are you doing?” I slowly withdraw my slumber like motion, “Sorry, what?” My new flat mate looks at me curiously. I realise my hand is stretched out holding an orange in the palm of my hands, “I don’t know!” I place my forehead in the palm of the other hand, “I was about to do something, don’t know...” I pull my arms back into my body, the orange palmed between my hands as if a rare item on display. I turn on my heel and work into my room with my back ridiculously straight to maintain an illusion of dignity... Oh, I was going to cut the orange! 

Author's Note

Yeah, suggestions are welcome... though, this is just a draft of stuff my brain threw up...

Reviews

[ANTO]

I loved the way you nailed human behaviour in this - 2 classic but not oft-reported traits - the first one 'squinting ones eyes to hear better' - comedy Gold, Mai.

The footsteps vibrate like a bass in my ears, scattered chatter join in and the woman’s high pitch voice the soprano to back me up. I like music. Though this bit is a bit beyond dissonant! I can’t concentrate. Wow, this is Stravinsky gone wrong

I get the analogy of the ambient sounds with an orchestra or band, but I think its too convoluted as it stands.

How about something like;

"Now the deep bass of footsteps converge in a duet with the chatter of people talking and finally the mad lady sings (well speaks - her voice in the upper registers). Now I like music but this is way beyond dissonant. I can’t concentrate. Wow! This is Stravinsky gone wrong."


"My eyes widen, my mouth slightly open. Trying to mimic the movement of her mouth" - oh, you are such a people watcher - another universal human trait spotted. Class! Lol

"I don't even work here..." - lmao

I could have read much much more of this - The character is really funny. Like a modern day female Norman Wisdom -
aww - the end -
the dream thing is a neat and tidy way to end it (if cliche), but since this was just doodling I forgive you ;p

You are funny. This entire write is funny. No doubt about it Mai.