peace, panic

Cotton Candy flavoured Lip Smackers

smeared across my youthful lips, 

that cracked into a smile over anything.

A tangled mess of dark brown hair

being blown by the wind,

in my mother's purple PT Cruiser.

Grape juice easing down my throat

on a Sunday afternoon,

sunlight shining in through faded pink curtains.

My mother screaming to paramedics that my sister swallowed pill after pill,

finding her unconscious on her cold bedroom floor.

Hearing my parents scream over TV static from the room adjacent to mine,

VHS tapes skipping over scenes I thought I wanted to see.

Loneliness kidnapping me during elementary school,

disapproval of my peers swirling in my heart.

the panic always drowns out the peace.

Reviews

[Karen Redburn]

Oh this is so sad. The feelings you convey in the poem apply to those who share that awful badge of having a loved one commit suicide. At least that is my take on this poem. Anytime someone takes their own life, it takes a toll on those left behind, and you have, in a few short words conveyed the change from innocence to a very harsh reality. Well written!

[Winnter]

This is probably my favorite of your works. Very close to home. I love you. And I absolutely cannot wait on your book. -b

[Paul Bell]

The madness of growing up. Growing up quicker than even you imagined. A million thoughts run through this poem. You 've probably felt most of them.