summer depression

honey glazed lips shine in the sunlight,

petals of wish flowers float delicately in the atmosphere.

a sweet serene smile bunches up her cheeks,

melting amber eyes inspecting passing clouds.

she pulls stars down from the sky,

they sigh in unison as she whispers sweet nothings into their existence.

her skin glows underneath blue skies,

something creeps within her brain as the sun kisses her eyelids.

the feeling grips her heart so tightly,

it erupts within her body instantly.

her vision sways as she chokes back tears,

she's dancing hand in hand with her agony.

the ground opens up beneath her,

endlessly she falls into a grave she dug as deep as hell.

there are no final words for citrus queens.

Reviews

[H L Rose]

There is a lot to unpack here. I am most definitely intrigued and so glad to read this.

"Honey glazed lips" and "wish flowers" are the two phrases that caught my eye in the first stanza. "honey glazed lips" (along with really the two lines as a whole) I think is really good imagery. "wish flowers" I find interesting because, even if it's referring to a specific type of flower that I am just not thinking of, it can still stand on it's own as symbolic and convey the right tone.

"sweet and serene smile" and "melting amber eyes" were my favorite parts of the second stanza. I love alliteration and I think "sweet and serene smile" sounds lovely(though I may suggest removing the word "and" as it disrupts the alliteration a bit). "melting amber eyes" is simply beautiful wording that I absolutely adore.

The third stanza is beautiful as a whole in concept. It is definitely something to analyze because the meaning is not directly apparent. I love your word choice with "pulls stars down" and "whispers sweet nothings".

I think the fourth stanza is a really good transition into the changing tone. Paring "something creeps" with "sun kisses" seems to do a good job at not just spinning a 180 a hitting the reader in the head with a different mood.

The fifth stanza is brilliant. I especially like "erupts within her body instantly" and find you choice of the word "instantly" provoking.

I like your choice of the word "dancing" in the sixth stanza. It's kind of like you are continuing to use light-hearted words, but conveying a darkder meaning.

The seventh stanza completely abandons the light-hearted, summery tone. Contrasted with the peacefulness conveyed in the beginning of the poem, it really gets your point across.

"There are no final words for citrus queens". This line really forces the reader to think and analyze the sentiment behind "citrus queens". I think it is a great line to end on.

I really enjoyed reading this poem!

[barleygirl]

For the first half of this poem, I was wondering where "depression" might be?!?! Then the message slowly turns dark & painful in an intriguing way. The overall message reminds me of the way everything seems so lovely in summertime, but it's a reminder of all those summers that have been lost along the way. One of my favorite things in poetry is contrast & you've done that so gracefully here, from summer's sweetness to the melancholy depths (((HUGS))) fondly, Margie