Criticism - How Writers Can Grin and Bear It

Great writers who changed the world with their books were at times were rejected and made fools of. However, they still kept going to reach their dreams. Criticism is part and parcel of a writer’s life, and it’s not easy to handle. It can discourage us to the point of quitting. But there are benefits to criticism"whether the intent behind the words are meant to be helpful or not.

First, let’s note the different types of criticism:

1. Constructive criticism"when a criticizing person can back up his/her thoughts comments with some facts or logical points.

2. Partially constructive criticism"when there is some truth in the critic’s words, but some of it is too subjective.

3. Utterly unfair criticism"when there are is nothing substantial or helpful in what the person is saying and comes across in comments like “That’s rubbish,”, or “It’s the worst book I’ve ever read.” This type of criticism is usually biased and offer no logical advice or observations. 

Why Do We React Negatively to Criticism?

There are several reasons that cause us to react negatively to criticism: 

• Focus on other people’s evaluation. Usually people, even if they want to make something great, cannot judge their work objectively. Naturally, they can face bad comments and wouldn’t know how to react. Although there will be both good and bad comments, writers tend to pay attention mainly to bad ones.

• Low self-esteem. You don’t believe in yourself, and plus people around you say unpleasant things about your writing. You may think that you should stop here, as no one believes in you. In this case, you really need to work on your confidence, because many talented people stop going due to the self-esteem problems. Don’t be one of them.

• A need for approval. If you are not sure that you do something valuable, you will give any comment a hostile reception.

How to handle negative emotions

Every one of us wants to criticize a person back once we hear a negative comment. However, we can develop the ability not to get lost in bad emotions, to discipline ourselves and to get out of a conflict with dignity. 

• Chill out. Try not to react to a bad comment immediately. Think a bit, breathe in and out and count to ten before answering. Rashly said words can be very harmful. To a written comment, you should answer no sooner than in an hour.

• Protect yourself with an imaginary wall. There is this exercise in psychology, when you put an imaginary wall between you and the person who says negative things. Imagine for a moment, that there is a glassy wall around you that repels aggression. You’ll stop reacting to stinging remarks, and the carper will stop criticizing as there will be no desired response.

• Take a detached view at the conflict. Taking offense and insulting other person in return are not the best options. Because afterwards you will feel bad about your thoughtless actions and words. Try to look at the situation as if you don’t participate in it. Only this perspective allows you to evaluate the situation objectively.

Did you understand the offender right?

Listen everything that this person has to tell you and then make sure you understood everything right. If you still think that the criticism is not constructive, say to this person politely that you disagree with this opinion. Try not to argue, however admit a person’s right to criticize.

What you shouldn’t do

• Counteroffensive. Criticizing a person back, you will just provoke a conflict. Response the comments impartially and with dignity.

• Total silence is also not the way out of the situation. Moreover, many people find it annoying and can get angry.

• Don’t justify yourself. By making excuses you admit that you did something wrong. If you don’t think so, don’t justify yourself.

How to react to criticism:

Constructive one

Agree with the criticism if it is actually constructive. However, don’t make excuses and don’t apologize for anything.

Partially constructive one

If there are some good points in the criticism, there are some ways to react.

• Just agree with the fair comments. Ignore the other ones.

• If you can react quick-wittedly, you can try to turn your criticized flaw into an advantage.

• If you don’t want to agree with any part of the criticism, you can say “you have the right to think so”. It usually leaves your opponent with nothing to say.

Unfair one

• Remember, that people who say unfair rude comments usually wait for aggressive response. If you react nicely and with a joke, it usually stops your opponent from saying bad things any further.

• Another way to react to unfair criticism is to say how you really feel and how those words hurt you. Honest words always win people over and maybe your opponent will think twice before saying something mean in the future.

Conclusion

All people at some point become an object for criticism. And writers are not an exception. Most of us often criticize other people as well. Anyways, it is important to behave with dignity. Try to act logically and don’t let yourself get angry. Remember, that we are often sparing of compliments, however give people remarks and comments quite generously. Try to become better every time and take in only fair and constructive comments on your work.

About the Author

Lisa Orto is an experienced editor and copywriter. She works as a Literature teacher in the Abraham Lincoln High School and at GoHunters.com as a content manager. 

Author's Note

I'm working on my non fiction writing now and would like to know whether it is helpful and interesting to read.

Reviews

[Bee C.]

Very useful and informative piece of writing. It's also very well structured and written. You sound very professional and it's immediately clear that you have experience in the area. The only thing you may need to change is the second subtitle: "Why Do We React Negatively to Criticism badly?" - You could remove one of the adverbs here as having both is unnecessary.
I'll be sure to take notes from this. Great job!

[Lisa Orto]

Thanks a lot for your kind words! Yeah, I fixed that adverb thing, thanks for noticing.