Look at her now....

Look at her now
There she goes...
I walk past her,
But she doesn't know...
She's a valley
I'll prevent the fall into
Sleeping with a memory,
I'll crawl away from you...
The ghost of my past haunts me...
The sight of her taunts me
My heart wrenches with a yearn
For the one,
Whom i may never earn...

Look at her now,
There she smiles....
Admiration overwhelms for a while
She's my butterfly...
Would love to hold her,
But she better fly
She must never stumble
She must never cry...
But her thoughts must be thrown
From the mind of a king,
Who's lost his throne
'Cause reason flows crystal clear
No more can i fight my fears


The ghost of my past haunts me
The sight of her taunts me
Now that i have  chosen to run
Must forget the one,
Whom i may never earn....
Whom i may never earn.....

Reviews

[Tai Ryens]

I love the acceptance and realization of a courtship that just may never be. Though I'm not fond of connecting three metaphors with almost zero connection to one another (unless it's a personal meaning, of course; if so I empathize), I commend you for having chosen them specifically. Next time, you should either use only one metaphor or connecting ones (i.e. a tree and its leaves, or a bird and its song, or perhaps the flow of both water and music).

[Knight, not a Saint]

Thank you very much for your critique on this piece!!...
Would you please point out the metaphors u are actually talking about??.....it would be more clear to me and correction would surely be applied on my upcoming writings.
Thank you again....

[Tai Ryens]

From a valley to a ghost to a throne, I don't see much a resemblance between the three. Perhaps between a ghost and a throne, but I see not how a valley fits in.

[Angela ☄️]

Amazing poetry darling :) Very well done! I felt your yearning for her to love you in every sentence :)

[Knight, not a Saint]

Thank you very much!!....glad you liked it.

[Angela ☄️]

Your welcome :)

[rnuff]

wow such vivid imagery, and emotional. nicely expressed

[Whitney Kleinhuizen]

This is another really great piece. Beautifully written! Very well done!

[Knight, not a Saint]

Thank you!!!......glad you liked it!!

[Shreyas Tripathy]

What a marvellous, marvellous piece of poetry !
Heartfelt thanks for letting me read it !

[Knight, not a Saint]

Heartfelt thanx to u bcoz u liked it and heartfelt thanx for u reading it!!!