Blood-spatttered Bride

Don't be too harsh on your reviews.

The woman was walking to her wedding

because her car had broken down.
No one ever came to get her,
despite previous agreements.
But since the car had never shown,
she decided to take herself there.

A single white rose was left at her door, 
as of some apology for a mistake.
The bride walked down a dusty path,
and saw two glowing lights flying her way.

The closer they got,
the clearer they were.
A big black expedition was galloping closer,
but the poor, stupid girl just kept on her way.
The black beast got closer,
and closer, but still the girl just kept on her way.
But when the beast got too close,
she could not run away.
The car slammed into her lace-covered stomach,
causing her head to hit the hard rugged path.
The blood-spattered bride lay on her back,
her body was paralized.
So she waited and waited,
for death to take her under his wing.

Reviews

[MarchAprilMayJuneJuly]

What I love most about this poem is the creative words and your imagination. I think it depends on how you look or relate to this which determines if it is creepy or great. I thought this was great, and somewhat sad, but not at all scary. It seems almost as if someone had planned this to happen, but i think she was hopelessly devoted to the groom, not stupid. I like how it makes me think about what it means, which I like. okay well back to the poem.... I think the monster was like fate catching up on her. That her lover has left her in the dark and it finally got her. Romantic, yet sad this poem is..... Nevertheless, it is very good!

keep writing, and try to check out some of my stuff!!

~may
(don't blame my speshiallnesess if I am wrong on the meaning of this poem) ;)

[Bryan A.]

This is cool. Very imaginative, it was really good. I admit, I was hoping it would be a bit bloodier, I'm a sucker for a good death scene, which this was, just was hoping it would be more bloody. But other than that, it was really really good. I couldn't find anything I hated about it. I liked it all, it was good.

[samantha]

it does say alot its like her heart was broken and she couldnt find her way, she was lost and just kept walking down her death path as if she didnt care and she didnt want to see it comeing, i like it very much and i think u should keep writeing more......

[Arthur Crow]

This is really powerful.. I was intrigued as I was going through the first few lines then became totally blown away towards the end by the dark moody twists. My kind of poetry! Strong and creative, I like your thought process.

[Fallen Angel]

Wow the feelings that this puts into ur mind is so good and bad at the same time. I think that really u have the perfect mind. U r not allowed 2 not write a good paper after this.

[Niko Azazel]

i like this. i like the imagery and the word choice. the titles what caught my attention the most. it's dark but not creepy, not for me anyways. its cool.

[Holly]

You have serious violence issues, but it was cool. I liked it.

[ATG]

This was a great poem. Very interesting choice of a subject. A good and dark ending to a great poem.

[That Weirdo You Just Mi..]

I like it! It really paints a picture (a some what gruesome one) but a picture none the less. You are a really good writer/author and should keep posting. Check out some of my stuff if you have a chance. OH and I like the way you twisted the whole bride shthing. Instead of a beautiful bride thats all preppy and disgusting she was blood spattered and still a blond but oh well. I'm rambling now so I'll go read your something shtuff and give you more reviews. I wuvs you! LeeLee

[Philosophile. (Maddy)]

I enjoyed this, especially the actions of the bride and how whoever was supposed to take her thought attaching a rose to a door was a decent form of apology. I especially enjoyed the ending, where she dies. Though that sounds morbid, I liked how this went against the happy flowers and paper rice view of brides.